What'd I just say??

Ever have those moments when you say something totally applicable to the moment, only to later think "did I really just say that?" I had that experience twice tonight while babysitting.
#1. "Boys, I'm just not sure a lasso is an inside toy."
#2. "Why do you have to put them back on?? Because it's just not polite to take your underwear off at the dinner table. That's why."

LIfe-Changing Insight

Tonight was the ever-anticipated messy club at YOKE. Here are some life-changing tidbits I learned while preparing for the balloon-pop relay and 'pie a YokeFolk'.

1. It is nearly impossible to tie a balloon filled with spray cheese.
2. Should you accidentally let go of the balloon before the tie is complete, spray cheese will spew out in no predictable way.
3. While it is possible to add chocolate syrup to a blown-up balloon, it is nearly impossible to do the same with shaving cream.
4. It is nearly impossible to blow up the shaving-cream-filled balloon without ingesting shaving cream.
5. Shaving cream will fizzle and dry out inside a balloon, making the ingestion of the shaving cream nearly pointless. :)
6. There will always be that one student who doesn't know that the best way to pie a YokeFolk is not to put the whipped cream in her hand and smack you in the eye.
7. There is a reason we always pie with shaving cream, not whipped cream. Whipped cream, outside, on your clothes, will sour almost immediately.
8. Once the sour whipped cream travels up your nose, you may never know if you are really clean, because you will always be smelling the sour.

Tonight was great, by the way. Fourteen students who had a blast and hopefully left with more than just messy clothes.

YOKE Camp

So pretty much this weekend was incredible. We had such a great group of students. Nine middle school girls in 3 different grades with such different personalities, and yet no one was excluded. That in itself is an incredible thing. But there was something just incredible about this weekend. We have a girl who came to club for the first time 2 weeks ago and then came again this past week. She seemed interested in camp, but didn't think her mom would let her go since YOKE was still new to them and her mom didn't know us yet. I left her mom some messages, but never heard back. But Friday she was there with her mom ready to get on the bus for camp. Friday night our speaker, Leah, talked about how much God loves us. She did a great job and, though she was talking to the middle schoolers, there were some things I needed to hear too. Saturday was a great day of games and then Saturday night Leah spoke again. First, she explained to the kids what sin is and why it's a problem for us, why it separates us from God. Before she told the kids how Jesus took care of that for us, we took a break and while the kids played four square and jumped rope and all that, the leaders met together to pray for the kids and then broke into teams to pray for our students specifically. It's an incredible time. After Leah told the kids about the free gift Jesus has for us, we had Cabin Time. Cabin Time is what the semester leads up to--a time the students can ask us anything. God was all over our cabin time. No person could have scripted it as perfectly as it happened. The girls asked such honest questions. "If I don't go to church, can I still go to Heaven?" "What exactly do you have to do to go to Heaven?" And they did ask some questions that I had to tell them I really don't know the answer to. Things about the Old Testament ways of sacrifices and such. After the girls asked their questions my college gals shared their testimonies. And, again, it could never have been planned by any person. Such sweet testimonies to tell the girls that you don't have to have a past of drugs or alcohol or abuse to have a "good" testimony. To tell them that God has specific plans for each of them. And then the girls wanted a chance to share with us their stories. One shared how she got saved at camp... 3 times. And so we got to talk about how no one can take your salvation away. What Jesus did for us is forever. Salvation is not something you can lose. The next girl to share was the girl new to YOKE. And she said that her dad had saved her. I asked her if she meant that he prayed with her and she said that wasn't it; he had "put her in the water." So we got to talk about what baptism really is and that it doesn't save you, it's just a symbol of your new life. And, again, we got to talk about the One Way to Heaven and how simple it is, that it's a gift you just have to accept. Normally we end cabin time by telling the girls that they can pull us aside to talk anytime there's something on their mind. But this time we told them that if they felt good about everything they'd heard and had no more questions they could go back to the main room and play some more 4 square. But if they had any more questions they could just stay right where they were. Two girls stayed. One had the kind of question that lets you know she is listening to what you say and really processing it. She said that since we had talked about the only way to Heaven being asking Jesus to forgive you and be your Savior she just wanted to know what happens to babies who die. I told her that those little guys who are too little to even understand what sin is are in Heaven. We talked just a little bit about this thing called "age of accountability" and you could see it click for her. With a look of relief and "yeah, that makes sense" she was off to jump rope. And then there was just me and this special girl. She said she wanted me to "save her." I told her I couldn't, only Jesus can do that. But I told her if she really wanted to I'd pray with her. And she told me she wanted me just to pray it for her. And, again, I told her I couldn't. I wasn't sure she really understood all we had talked about so I started asking her questions about sin and Jesus, and she was getting it. I prayed and let her repeat it, but I was still wondering if she really understood. When we finished praying, I looked up and she was smiling and crying at the same time. And I knew she got it. And I just felt the moment wasn't over. So I just hugged her and held her and prayed some more. And somewhere in that prayer it hit me what had just happened. That I had been there at the very moment her new life began. That God had allowed someone who was just a sinner herself be a part of the moment. And then I thought about Peter. I love to read about the boldness of the early church. And I thought that I was doing something Peter had done: telling about Jesus and then seeing the response. Obviously, this wasn't on the same scale as Peter speaking to hundreds, but it wasn't insignificant. All those thoughts hit me at once, and I started crying. Later, we were walking back to meet up with our group and she looked at me and said "I made you cry, didn't I?" And she was just grinning. It was just an incredible time. I've had the opportunity to pray with students before at things like Hearts on Fire. But there, you know that when students come to you they are coming to make a decision and that they are responding to what the speaker has told them. This was different, because I had been the one to answer the question, not knowing if there would be any response. And when there was it was just incredible. Just such a God-thing. Later that night she thanked me for what I had done and all I could say was "I didn't do this. Jesus did this all." On the bus home she wanted to look at the Bible she had been given and had some questions about it. We talked about her being in church. She said her family has been visiting some places, so I invited her to come to West Lonsdale. She seemed excited about the Wednesday night youth service. I hope so much she is there. I also hope she feels welcomed. This weekend was a time of acceptance and friendship among our girls. I hope that is felt when she comes to church. Honestly, I'm not sure it will happen among the girls her age. That sounds bad, I know. I love my WL girls, but they may see this girl as being different. Not as popular, as well-dressed. Didn't grow up in church, may not know the right terms. I don't know if my WL girls read this or not, but if they do, I challenge them to look for a new face Wednesday. To think about what it might feel like to be the new kid. To think about what an IMPACT a short conversation or invitation to sit with someone might make. To realize they can be a part of a new believer growing in their faith by being an encourager and friend. I know they can do it.

Creepy Old Men

A lot of my friends already know this, but just in case you don't, here's an interesting tidbit about me: I wear an "engagement ring" at work. I was getting some pretty interesting comments from customers as the new girl, so my mom suggested I wear the ring my grandmother gave me which has an interesting story itself. Anyway, the guys who think they are sneaky point to your name plate and ask if it's your married or maiden name. One time I asked a customer if there was anything else I could do for him and he answered with, "well, what time do you get off?" But the oddest was the man who told me that I was very efficient and then asked if my husband appreciated that quality. So I started wearing the ring. I never said anything about it, just started wearing it. And, magically, the comments stopped. But today I had an 87 year old man tell me he left his glasses at home. That's pretty innocent...unless you follow it with "I guess I'll go home and get them and come back so I can get a better look...at you." I, apparently, am hot stuff with the over 60 crowd. Now if I could just get that godly guy my age to be so bold. :) (Rylee is becoming concerned that I won't get married before she's too old to be a flower girl. Sunday she made sure that if she's grown up when I get married that she could still be in my wedding. I love that girl. Oh, the way her mind works!! ")

Monday...

Should I tell you about my day? Here's the background...I have been working as a teller at the bank, but I was hired to be a customer service rep. CSRs open accounts, answer questions, and take care of customer issues--whatever they might be. Before I went to CSR training I observed a bit and began to think that it might not be for me. I actually had several people at work tell me that I wouldn't like it. One lady told me I'd be bored. As a teller, when it's slow, I can pull out a book to read or a sunday school lesson or yoke club to plan. When other tellers are complaining that it's slow, I'm always like "This is great! I'm getting so much done!" As a CSR, when it's slow, you either have a pile of paperwork or you just sit at the desk and wait for a customer. (That's not the only reason I don't like it. I also don't love not knowing what situation is about to walk through the door.) Three weeks ago I asked my supervisor if I could continue to work as a teller because I'm really not comfortable with (or happy in) the CSR position. And she told me to keep working as a CSR and get comfortable with it and we'd talk later. . . and then she's had me work as a teller. . .until today. So, of course, I didn't get used to it. In fact, I thought maybe she had decided to let me stay in the teller position. Since I'm a floater, she usually tells me on Friday afternoon what branch to work at the next week, but last Friday she was off, so they told me just to call Monday morning. So I called this morning at 7:40--I'm supposed to be at work at 8:15--and no one answered. (Usually someone is in early.) So I called every 5 minutes, until 8:20 when someone answered to tell me that I needed to wait until someone else came in. She said someone would call me back soon. So I finally called back at 8:50, and she called a branch to see if they could use me. (Nothing like not being needed. ") In that time I got so much done---dishes, folding laundry--and I thought "this is going to be a cool day, different." And then I finally got to work. . . and I was supposed to be a CSR (didn't see that coming did you? ") And my stomach just about jumped through my throat. And all I wanted to do was survive until lunch and then get away for a while. . .but my parents' car is messed up, so my dad has my car and had dropped me off at work. So no leaving until my dad came back at 4:15. And I just wanted to hide and cry. On the way there this morning (still thinking I was to work as a teller) I was thinking "Man, why was I so unsatisfied with this job? I could do this for a long time." And then I got there and heard "CSR" and thought "Yeah! This is why!" There was some confusion when I got there--was I a teller or a CSR? So I had to explain to the branch manager that yes, technically I'm a CSR, but I don't want to do it and I haven't been doing it. And her response was that I definitely, then, needed to work as a CSR so I wouldn't waste my training. And I'm thinking "But this is not what I was meant to do! I'm perfectly fine not 'advancing' in banking. It's not my passion!" Ah, but it's my job.
So I was thinking. . .
I asked my mom the other day how people stay in jobs they don't love. She said that when you come home and see those babies' faces, you know you aren't doing it for you but for them, and then it's okay. And I said, "Cool. . . so why am I doing it?" I do feel like God has used me in unexpected ways--in going through training with a student facing the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy or working for a week with a group of people who have a strong negative stereotype of 'church people.' And sometimes those things make me think I'd be cheating by being in a ministry position because I wouldn't be 'in the world' as much as I am now. I'm just over thinking it, I guess. It's a good thing the future is in His hands and not mine! (By the way, I wrote this during work today. Ever seen the Seinfield episode where George takes a job he knows nothing about? And he sits in the office and moves papers from one file to the other. . .all day? Yeah, that was pretty much me today. "If I open and close my notebook a lot while I'm writing, maybe it'll look like I'm really working on something." Oh, I get to go back to be a CSR tomorrow.

People actually read my blog!!

I am, generally, a private person. I'm really good with short answers and not offering up more than I just have to. I know God is trying to get me out of that. I read a book recently on mentoring students. I can pretty much sum up the whole book with this statement: "Mentoring is letting students into your life." That means your life has to be a little more open. I'm trying. I'm doing some things I never would have dreamed of. Like interpretive movement. When I told a couple of my friends that I was going to do it, they laughed. "Let's see. You don't dance, and you don't like to be up in front of people. Yeah, this sounds like the group for you." But guess what. I'm loving it. And I'm trying to be more open with people. That was pretty much the point of having a blog. I like reading blogs, but to actually write one just seemed weird. "Write out my thoughts for anyone to read? You've got to be kidding me." But if I'm really going to be more open, this was a good place to start. So, I blog, although not very consistently. And it really wasn't as hard as I thought. . .
Probably because I thought no one was reading it. Then last night I logged onto 2 of my friends' blogs. And there in the "blogs I read" section was my name! And I freaked out just a bit. "People actually read my blog!! I'm out there. Opening up. Dear goodness, what I have done?!" I was much calmer about it this morning. . . and then I got to Sunday School and someone else mentioned reading my blog. And it began again. "People actually read what I say!!" Wow. Just know that this whole world of blogging is out of my comfort zone. But I think that's where I need to be.

Waiting and Watching

My first week at Carson-Newman (hard to believe that was almost 8 years ago!) an upper classman gave me this advice about being in full-time ministry: 'if you can be happy doing anything else, do that other thing.' At first it sounded like odd advice, but it makes alot of sense now. I've spent a lot of time in jobs I didn't love and have ended up changing jobs alot. The thing that has been consistent in my life is student ministry. I always go into new jobs thinking I can be happy there as long as I have the time to stay as involved in student ministry as I have been. And that works for a while. Then I get to the point in my job where I should be moving up or taking on more responsibility and I realize, again, that it's not what I was made to do. And I get frustrated and start looking for something new. It usually takes 5 or 6 months for me to realize that I can't be happy where I am. I started at the bank on October 11. Do the math and you'll know what I'm feeling.
I know where I would be happy; where I would be living life to the fullest. It's a life where I stay home to take care of my family and stay involved in ministry.
So really I know exactly what I want to do when I grow up. It's just that I don't have a husband to support or kids to take care of and--as my mom would say--I'm working to support my involvement in ministry. So I know what I want to do; it's just not possible yet.
So I was thinking...
1. Wait. Wait is a four letter word. (Really, it is.) I'd like to have a family soon. 'Keep living life and wait.' I want to be debt-free now. 'Keep working and wait.' I'd like to go back to my old position at work. 'Keep working and wait.' You get the idea. I thought I was a patient person, but when the answer is always 'wait,' you've got to wonder what God is teaching you.
2. Think outside the box. I've really limited my ideas about where I should be working. I know I want to be in full-time ministry, but there aren't many opportunities that I know of. But it doesn't matter. God has plans for me and it doesn't matter if I don't know them just yet. I've just got to stop limiting myself and watch (and, yes, wait) for the doors to open at the right time. I know that, but I need to be reminded of that from time to time. Thanks, friend, for the reminder.
-E