So I Was Thinking

I say NO!

2009-02-05T15:04:00.000-08:00

This will be short and sweet... more on this to come later.

The Economic Spending Plan (that stimulus you keep hearing about) is being debated in the Senate. The plan includes an atrocious amount of money alloted for programs that make you scratch your head in wonder... "How does that help the economy or America?" Speak up and tell your senators you don't want our country in completely unnessary debt. There is another way.

To email your senator, go to www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm, select your state and let your thoughts be heard! (If you live in TN, you are looking for Lamar Alexander and Bob Corker.)

Jammin'

2009-01-30T19:37:00.001-08:00

I just got home from "Jammin in Your Jammies," a fundraiser for Children's Hospital where families pay to basically go to a giant pajama party complete with karaoke and dance contests. Me and a friend from work were supposed to be helping with snacks by the pool (the event happens at a big hotel in K-town), but there were too many volunteers so we volunteered to, uh, watch the dance contest. There were winners in age divisions and then there was the big family dance off. Families had to hold hands and dance as a group and were judged to get a prize. One of the event sponsor's was a local radio station that plays top 40. The morning dejay emceed the contest and provided the music. The song for the family competition was a song that I loathe and actually had a conversation about earlier this week. It's a girl singing and it goes like this: "I kissed a girl and I liked it; I kissed a girl just to try it." It's a catchy song, very upbeat and very easy to sing along with. But it really bothered me to watch moms, dads, and little kids dance to this song. Everyone was having a great time and the dejay was rocking out and singing along. It wasn't that long ago that a dad would have asked for another song to be played so his little girls didn't have to hear that, or a mom would have told her kids they'd have to sit this one out because that wouldn't be their winning song. But no one seemed to notice or care. What happened to us?

Adoption

2009-01-13T19:40:00.000-08:00

Most of you, "my readers" :) , probably know my friends Todd and Leeanne. Just in case you don't, they have four kids: two daughers and two (adopted) sons. Last Sunday night our church observed the Lord's Supper. The girls were sitting on the first row, Leeanne and the boys were sitting on the second and I was a couple back. I was looking at the boys with their mom and thinking about how lucky they are and how much adoption really means. Just before their adoption became final last summer the girls and me were having a Punky Brewster afternoon (it's okay to be jealous!). The girls started talking about the adoption and Kortney said something that will always stay with me. (Leeanne, I apologize for not telling you this before). Her sister, I'm sure, was talking a mile a minute and Kortney just calmly said, "Erin, all this time I never realized we could have lost them." I was so amazed to listen to this (almost) ten year old grasping the security of adoption.

I don't think we, as adults, grasp the security of our adoption in Christ. As believers we have been adopted by our Savior--it can never be undone, we can never be lost. At work last week we had a conversation concerning suicide and if a person who committed suicide could go to heaven. My answer (which not everyone agreed with) was, "if the person has accepted Christ, absolutely." I have heard this argument so many times: 'Suicide is murder and how could a murderer go to heaven?' A murderer goes to heaven in the same way a liar, a thief, a cheat, a jealous person, any sinner does--the blood of Christ. Deciding which sin(s) will keep a person from heaven is limiting the power of the cross. His blood either covers all sin or none. We don't get to choose. We need to stop underestimating the power of our Savior.

I just finished reading Michael Catt's "Prepare For Rain." He talks about how we try to think outside the box because so many try to put God in a box. I love what he says we all have to learn about the box: There is no box!!

Oops!

2009-01-13T19:15:00.001-08:00

Oops! I haven't blogged in a month...or two...or a little longer. So what have I been doing?...

Housesitting... I'm house/dogsitting for a friend who is working with a church in Korea for 3 months (3 weeks left). The hardest part--remembering when to put the trash out. Ha!

Dating... Since my blog on never dating, I've been on a couple of dates. While it was fun to spend time with adults, it confirmed even more that it's worth the wait for the right person.

Sewing...I made my first quilted purse as a Christmas present for my mom and I'm working on an idea for one for me. And after that... well, I could be for hire. ")

Reading...I read a book at work (yes, I get to read at work some days) that a co-worker thought I'd love because it is Christian/inspirational fiction. I don't normally read fiction (unless it's a classic) but she really wanted me to try it. And so I read an amish love story. The best part is that it was book two in a four part series, so I still don't know if amish Annie and outsider Ben will ever get to be together. ha.

More Reading... I got Micheal Catt's book "Prepare For Rain" for Christmas. Catt is the pastor of Sherwood Baptist Church (think "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof"). The book really is just the story of what can happen when a church decides to believe that they are serving the God of the Impossible and to Expect More. (Sound familiar to anyone??) Catt challenges us to not try to make our church into the next Sherwood, but to discover the unique plan God has for our church in our community and to trust God in going after it. I recommend the book. Exciting stuff.

And More Reading... The week before Christmas, me and my best bud Rachel went to Starbucks (thanks for the giftcard Maggie & Hanna!!) and to McKay's. We were looking for a couple of books in particular and, of course, left with a basketful of other books. I have been buying history books there and got really excited about a book I found that day...a history of the KGB. (I know, I know. But I'm okay being a nerd.) This book is very interesting, but also sort of scary. So much of it sounds like something from the show "Alias" (the best show ever next to Punky Brewster) or the Bond movies, and it is has been going on for decades, inside the U.S. And it makes me wonder what we will face as a nation and how we will handle it with a new CIA director with no experience in intelligence. (You knew there would be a political twist, didn't you?) Please don't lose interest in the world just because the election is over.

Coaching... I've coached Upward basketball the past three years and this was going to be my season to just be a spectator. So... I'm coaching the "Thunder," third through sixth grade girls. They are a sweet group... not very big, not very aggressive... perfect for basketball. :) We had our first game last week. We didn't win, but they did a great job focusing on the things I told them I wanted them to work on. And they are really excited about memorizing the verses, which is more important than the basketball anyway.

Another morning, another article . . .

2008-10-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

I feel like some writers have been reading my blog. Ha! Today it is Cal Thomas writing about the election. His article begins with thoughts about undecided voters--that being undecided at this point should be nearly impossible if you've been paying attention at all and that if you haven't you shouldn't vote. I won't include the whole article, since I just did that. But I will quote 4 paragraphs for you:

[on the last debate]
"Why didn't McCain challenge Obama's promise to cut taxes for the middle class? As Jack Kemp and Peter Ferrara wrote in Wednesday's Wall Stret Journal, 20 percent of the middle class pay only 4.4 percent of all federal income taxes, while the bottom 40 percent of earners pay no taxes at all.
To say that only "the rich" should pay more and that those who pay little or no taxes should get a check to make things "fair" is George McGovern redistributionism, even socialism. That economic model was soundly rejected in 1972 and in subsequent elections.
McCain should propose ways to allow more people to become rich. We should reject Obama's plan to penalize those who have worked hard to become well-off. That's real fairness.
Individual initiative, risk-taking, an entrepreneurial spirit and optimism are what built and sustained America through many challenges over the last 232 years. Government can't produce those qualities in any of us. We must produce and renew them in ourselves."

Mr. Thomas also questions why Tom Brokaw didn't ask tougher questions during the debate, including questions about Senator Obama's relationship with Bill Ayers. I've read some debate that Senator Obama's association with Bill Ayers is not close enough anymore to really be concerned about. Excuse me, but just having someone who is anti-America with a terrorist background (Ayers) think a candidate (Obama) is a good choice for our next president is red-flag enough for me.

"Just the Facts. . ."

2008-10-10T16:22:00.000-07:00

This article was in the Knoxville News Sentinel the morning after my last blog. As I read it, I thought, "Everyone needs to read this article." I'm not a huge fan of this paper, but this article gets my seal of approval.

"Do facts matter in presidential race?" By Thomas Sowell

Abraham Lincoln said, "You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time"

Unfortunately, the future of this country, as well as the fate of the western world, depends on how many people can be fooled on election day, just a few weeks from now.
Right now, the polls indicate that a whole lot of people are being fooled a whole lot of the time.
The current financial crisis has propelled Barack Obama back into a substantial lead over John McCain--which is astonishing in view of which man and which party had the most to do with bringing on the crisis.
It raises the question: "Do facts matter? Or is Obama's rhetoric and the media's spin enough to make facts irrelevant?"
Fact Number One: It was liberal Democrats, led by Sen. Christopher Dodd and US Rep Barney Frank, who for years--including the present year--denied that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were taking big risks that could lead to a financial crisis.
It was Dodd, Frank and other liberal Democrats who for years refused requests from the Bush administration to set up an agency to regulate Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.
It was liberal Democrats, again led by Dodd and Frank, who for years pushed for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to go even further in promoting subprime mortgage loans, which are at the heart of today's financial crisis.
Alan Greenspan warned them four years ago. So did the Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers to the president. So did Bush's secretary of the Treasury, five years ago.
Yet, today, what are we hearing? That is was the Bush administration's "right-wing ideology" of "deregulation" that set the stage for the financial crisis. Do facts matter?
We also hear that it is the free market that is to blame. But the facts show that it was the government that pressured financial institutions in general to lend to subprime borrowers, with such things as the Community Reinvestment Act and, later, threats of legal action by then-Attorney General Janet Reno if the feds did not like the statistics on who was getting loans and who wasn't.
Is that the free market? Or do facts matter?
Then there is the question of being against the greed of CEOs and for "the people." Franklin Raines made $90 million while he was head of Fannie Mae and mismanaging that institution into crisis.
Who in Congress defended Raines? Liberal Democrats, including Maxine Waters and the Congressional Black Caucus, at least one of who referred to the "lynching" of Raines, as if it was racist to hold him to the same standard as white CEOs.
Even after he was deposed as head of Fannie Mae, Raines was consulted this year by the Obama campaign for his advice on housing.
The tie between Obama and Raines is not all one-way. Obama has been the second-largest recepient of Fannie Mae's financial contributions, right after Dodd.
But ties between Obama and Raines? Not if you read the mainstream media.
Facts don't matter much politically if they are not reported.
The media are not alone in keeping the facts from the public. Republicans, for reasons unknown, don't seem to know what to counterattack. They deserve to lose.
But the country does not deserve to be put in the hands of a glib and cocky know-it-all who has accomplished absolutely nothing beyond the advancement of his own career with rhetoric and who has for years allied himself with a succession of people who have openly expressed their hatred of America."

If you're thinking this article is just racism, let me point out that the author himself is black. If you would like to know more about the terrorist association or the pastor/mentor who causes great concern, research Bill Ayers and Jeremiah Wright. If you are wondering why you've never heard anything about the dangerous side of Senator Obama, I encourage you to get away from the mainstream media. On CNN tune into Glenn Beck and on FoxNews tune into Hannity & Colmes and the O'Reilly Factor. You may amazed at what you haven't heard.

More Election Thoughts

2008-10-08T18:22:00.000-07:00

I keep hearing these arguments to vote for Senator Obama: 1) "McCain's one heart attack away from death." 2) "Palin's one heartbeat away from the presidency." Both arguments imply we don't know how long Senator McCain will live, so we shouldn't elect him. Did I miss something?? Is Senator Obama immortal? Is he immune to all cancer, all disease? Does he never get sick? Do accidents not harm him? If so, he should be in a comic book, not the White House.

This election gives me a feeling that isn't really anxiety or fear. It's a call to pray for this country like never before. Obviously Americans want change; but do we realize that responsibility belongs to us as well as the leadership? I look at signs promoting "Obama for Change" and wonder if people realize just how much change there would be? A change from the ideas of the American dream (I'll work hard for that) to borderline socialism (the government will provide it for me)--a move away from being responsible for yourself. I'm so tired of watching people put their hope in a man as if he's more than a man. You could say he's a man successfully climbing the political career ladder and shaking things up on the way. . . or you could see him as a man who hasn't stayed in one place long enough to have the accomplishments to back his words, a man trying to fix everything, including what isn't broken. I didn't set out to write an anti-Obama blog. I just challenge us all to make a decision not based on age, charisma or flashy words.

My prayers are not "please let McCain win," though I do pray for him, Governor Palin and President Bush. My prayer is for people to make a decision that is for the good of America and that no matter what happens on November 4th, American people will support America, not tear it down--that Christians will be bold in their lives and live the difference we need.

I guess the election just baffles me. The things we apparently cling to are surprising. 'McCain's too old and Palin's too young'--people seem to cling to that. 'Obama has relationships with known domestic terrorists, has advisors in his campaign that were part of the economic fall, has sat in the congregation of a man who is anti-American and not afraid to curse it (I mean, shout it) from the pulpit, has no military experience, has spent most of his national political career campaigning and not working. . . '--people just seem to think that those aren't fair arguments. Call me crazy, but it concerns me.

'Undecided voters'. . . a term I don't understand. With the gazillion of news channels (rough estimate :), talk radio, and the internet, there is no reason to not be informed. And to vote uninformed is just irresponsible. You may be reading this and thinking that I take this all too seriously. To you I would say, "This is serious, this is real, this is history in the making. Don't take it lightly."

interesting...

2008-09-17T19:01:00.000-07:00

I am a multi-tasker. Mostly because I find I run out of hours in the day. Monday I knew I wouldn't have much time at home, but I had quite a bit to get done. I try to cook one night a week and then I have those "leftovers" for lunch at work. I also love hardboiled eggs. So Monday I decided I could just throw some chicken on the stove and some eggs on to boil before I jumped in the shower. No problem there. I checked everything when I got out of the shower and all was good. So I decided while the cooking finished up I'd do some work on the computer. That's where I multi-tasked too long. Did you know eggs could explode?

Thanks to my Yoke team (yea for UT students!!) , I'm learning my way around the UT campus. I was at the BCM today making posters with a yokefolk. I was thinking how good it felt to be on a college campus, sitting outside, listening to the band practice, getting to know a new friend. And then I realized I was sitting in gum.

I don't get to watch a lot of tv. Usually the tv is on FoxNews, but I really like America's Got Talent. My favorite this year, hands down, is "Nothin' but Stringz," the violin guys. Amazing! I have decided, though, that I would like to see synchronized swimming next season. Seriously. Why not?

Thanks for sharing in my randomness!

surprise!

2008-09-12T17:23:00.000-07:00

There's something I've thought about blogging about for a while. I haven't because it's kind of personal and I really don't know who all reads this. But I guess I'll go ahead and do it. . .

This will surprise you (cough, cough) but I'm single. Not just 'unmarried-single,' but 'haven't-been-on-a-date-in-um-ever-single.' (Let me go ahead and answer the questions you have at this point: Yes, I have been asked out. No, they were not guys I needed to be dating. Yes, you can politely turn down a date--otherwise guys wouldn't ask for your answer.) I'm not looking for a date here. I'm just going to point out some of the good and bad of being single.

The Good. . .
*I can make decisions by myself. *I decide how to spend my money. *I can sit in a quiet home and read or cook or whatever I want to do. *I use my time how I think is best for me.

The Bad. . .
*I have to make decisions by myself. (Well, I do have a friend or two that I bug, I mean, consult.) *I have to figure out how to use my money by myself. *Asking questions about insurance or retirement options at work usually gets the same response: 'I can't help you. My husband takes care of that.' *I spend a lot of time by myself. *I don't have cute pictures of myself with someone at the beach . . . or at a 600 year old palace in Korea (that's a hypothetical point. :) *Some sales just don't apply: entertainment or dining bogo? Let's be practical. . . why do I need 2 tickets or 2 dinners? *And, the big one, no long walks on the beach. Ha!

Actually, the first night we were on vacation was my mom's birthday and all she really wanted to do was walk on the beach with my dad. (They're so cute.) So they walked the beach and a few other couples walked the beach and I . . . I sat with my brother. He said out loud what I was thinking. "Maybe next year." And so it begins. "Maybe next year. . . maybe next Christmas or New Year's or Valentine's . . .maybe at the next friend's wedding (in 29 days by the way) . . . maybe my next birthday (in 77 days!).

My life is not empty in the least, and I absolutely don't think I need a relationship just to have a relationship. It's just that there's a time when you assume you will have someone to share things with and it's not a guarantee.

Winds and Waves

2008-09-12T14:32:00.000-07:00

Written about an hour ago. . .

I'm sitting on the beach and it's amazing. The water is not so close in now, but the wind has really picked up. The sand is flying at me like little darts. It's slightly painful to be on the beach today, but no one is leaving. The waves are still incredibly powerful; so much that I'm watching something I had not seen before yesterday. The waves are "angry," as one employee said, and are bringing in a foam to the beach. When the tide goes out, the foam stays on the beach and the wind throws it down the beach until the sun dries it up. It looks like chunks of dirty snow racing each other down the beach. I know we are out of Ike's way, but I keep thinking "Man! This wind! These waves!" It's such a reminder--"Even the wind and waves obey Him."
Last night's sunset, too, was incredible. The waves were beating, but the sky above was calm and colorful. The God who creataed is also in control.

Ike

2008-09-11T08:42:00.000-07:00

I don't really know how to describe last night. We went to the beach late. The double red flags were up--no swimming, whatsoever. I saw people walking on the beach and wondered why they weren't walking closer to the ocean. And then I realized that they were walking in the ocean. The ocean was just that much closer, the waves that much higher, the wind that much faster. I decided to walk out to the water's edge, but it was surreal. I walked out to where the water had been and the water wasn't coming to me. I thought about walking out a little further, but something felt a bit dangerous. I think it was because there was no distinction between beach and ocean, no drop off into the ocean, just a flat shore with water. I stood there thinking maybe I needed to walk in a little further. And then, where there had been shore in front of me, there was water all around me, twenty feet behind me. Eric said it was like standing in the middle of the ocean. It was so quick it was scary. There was nothing and then there was water all around. It was amazing, awesome and awful all at the same time. If you went to PCB with West Lonsdale, imagine our canopy on the beach being in the surf. It was amazing, but really made you realize the power of the ocean--and its Creator.
This morning I turned on the weather channel before going to the beach. Looking at the "picture" of Ike, we may be getting his fingernail, that's all. We have a wind advisory and warnings for coastal flooding and surf. When I got to the beach this morning, it was roped off. Now you only had to stand on the bottom step of the bridge to beach to put your feet in the tide. It's amazing. People are just standing on the bridge watching the water. I wondered if the people who are here year-round think we're crazy. . .then we noticed resort employees watching the water with us. It's just amazing. It's like someone told the ocean it no longer needs to stay in it's boundary. I have some great pictures that I'll post when we get home. (I've got to start traveling with my laptop!!) For now, we're going to go drive to other beaches and take more pictures.

I'm on vacation!!

2008-09-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

Since the Korea trip, when I'm out of town and don't blog about it I feel like I'm forgetting to do something. So here's a little vacation blogging...

My parents, brother and me drove down here Saturday. We made it a quicker trip than in the past--maybe because my dad didn't think we really needed to stop for lunch. So we got here, checked in, and headed straight to . . . Applebee's. (Mom's meal was free; not for her birthday, but because her well done steak came to the table bleeding. . . twice.) After Applebee's, we went to the beach. It was after sunset, so the only light was the moon and the party at the beachside pool. It was pretty neat to walk down to the ocean because it was so dark, but you could still hear the slow-dancing music in the background, like the ocean had a soundtrack.

Sunday we did our grocery shopping and cooking for the week, hung out at the pool and again went to the beach at night.

Monday me, mom and dad walked to the beach before breakfast. We hung out by the pool and went back to the beach that night.

Yesterday morning mom and dad went walking and I went to the pool. I loved it! I was the only person there, so I swam laps until I thought I might pass out. I just didn't want to give up "the-pool-is-all-mine" time! :) After second-breakfast (I eat when I get up and with the family when we get back from morning walking/swimming) me, mom and dad went to the beach for the afternoon. We didn't swim in the ocean though. Last year I accidentally swam with a ray and I've been a little cautious since. Yesterday walking on the beach you could just stop and watch the jellyfish float in and the crabs walking under the tide. (Dad: "How big are the crabs?" Me: "Dinner size.") It was a great walk, but didn't do much to make me want to jump in.
We went "home" for a late lunch and went back to the beach for sunset. Then we went to the pool when it was dark. It was amazing. If you floated on your back and tilted your head back, you could see lights reflecting in the water, the palm trees, the moon and the stars all at the same time. Or you could just look up and watch the stars. Mom said it was like being inside a snow globe. (Mom, by the way, had on regular clothes, not a swimsuit, but Dad talked her in anyway. Oh, and the pool was closed. :)

This morning (Wednesday) I had been swimming laps and Mom came and joined me. A man complimented us on our swimming. He said he liked watching us swim because we made it look easy. What a compliment. Granted, he had been on the other side of the pool teaching a middle-aged woman in arm floaties how to swim. But still, I'll take that compliment. :)

So that's our vacation so far. Add in my dad walking 5 miles or so before everyone gets up, the tv left on FoxNews, my brother's gameboy, and the three books my mom is trying to read at the same time, and you've got a picture of our vacation. (Side note: I am a nerd. I always read a lot on this trip. But my current book makes my nerdiness official: "Infamous Scribblers: The Founding Fathers and the Rowdy Beginnings of American Journalism." Ha!)

More later. . .

Time to Stand

2008-09-04T21:33:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This blog requires audience participation.

Step 1: Read the Blog

Step 2: Watch the Videos

Step 3: Take a Stand

1. My Blog. . .

Mike Huckabee may have said it best when he said that America's presidency is not meant to be a symbolic position. My fear, too, is that we do not realize the significance of this election. It's not about making history, but about being a part of a decision that will shape our country. Every election is significant; this one will determine the course of our country.

I was recently asked by a co-worker to be careful when talking about the election because there are people who don't agree with me. If you know me at all, you know I'm not picking political fights or shouting my views. The thought behind this request seemed to be that, as a Christian, I should not outwardly show support for something others don't agree with or show disapproval for something others do agree with--that I should try to not set myself apart. And that just goes against everything I know about being a Christian. We have the responsibility to take a stand; if that sets us apart, so be it.

"If my people, who are called by my name,

will humble themselves and pray and seek my face

and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from

heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the

prayers offered in this place." 2 Chronicles 7:14-15

"It doesn't matter who is elected in November if the people of God are content to not speak up and not step up. It's not enough to elect a leader; God's people need to pray and take a stand. It's time to live out loud." (Summary of notes, Sunday morning)

2. Their videos. .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2Kh-xzerjE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9izhjnaLa3M&feature=related

3. Your turn. . . Take a Stand!

Election News

2008-08-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

The election is on my mind. . . looks like it's going to be on my blog as well. Last night I could hardly sleep, partly in disbelief of the DNC crowd's near worship of Obama and partly in anticipation of McCain's announcement today.

Driving to work today the sunrise was amazing. I just kept looking at the sky thinking "No matter what happens in the next three months, God is still in control."

I asked my mom to call me with the announcement as soon as she heard. My phone was set to silent and I looked down to see my mom's number pop up on the screen right as one of my customers said "They just made an announcement. Do you want to know?"

Throughout the day I talked to my mom to find out what was being said on the news and to learn more about Sarah Palin. And the words I've used most since then have been "I'm so excited. I'm so excited!" Here's one reason why: I think a lot of people plan to vote for Obama not because of his record or policy, but so they can have a vote in history-in-the-making. And now history-in-the-making is on both sides. Now it comes back to what the candidates stand for and who is qualified to lead our country. The playing field is even. Let election season begin!

Election Q & A

2008-08-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

Q: How do you feel about Obama?
A: I have nothing against him, unless you count his views on abortion, the death penalty, and gay marriage (to name a few), his inexperience and lack of military service, or the way he can talk all night and never really answer a question. It still blows my mind that we even consider people with no military experience for the position of commander-in-chief. We would never hire a principal who was never a teacher or a coach who was never a player. Why lower the standard for the most important job in the country?

Q: Don't you want a black president?
A: I think it would be amazing. However, the first black president still needs to be the right president and Obama is not that man.

Q: So do you think McCain is perfect?
A: Of course not. No one is perfect, so there is no perfect candidate. But will I sleep better knowing that John McCain--and not Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton--is making the decisions that affect my country and its security? ABSOLUTELY.

Hmm..

2008-08-17T13:08:00.000-07:00

There are quite a few things that I enjoy but let get squeezed out of my schedule. Occasionally I rediscover those interests, but I usually let them go again. Writing is one of those things. I think I've always enjoyed it, but never realized it, even when I received recognition for it. (I always made good grades in English and writing, but who ever says they like English class? :) Remember starting the day with Channel One? In seventh grade (I think) there was an essay contest for female athletes sponsored by Channel One and Reebok. I wasn't the grand prize winner, but I did well enough that Reebok sent me a pair of shoes and I think my name came across the Channel One screen. During my senior year my English class was assigned to write a poem. There were no restrictions or themes we had to use--we just had to write. After the assignment, our teacher encouraged us to send our poems as entries to be considered for publishing in Anthology of Poetry by Young Americans. We did it without much thought, and then. . . mine was chosen! (You didn't know you had a published author among you, did you? ha! My mom, of course, bought about 10 copies, so if you don't believe me. . . I have proof.) I went to college on full scholarship. The final stage of the scholarship application? A timed writing that actually used that poem as an outline. We didn't know the topic of the writing until we got to the classroom to write. When I got there and realized I had already worked through this idea and was ready to write. . . well, God's plan is amazing, huh?

My family has come to me for help in wording their writing on applications and in letters and such, but I hadn't really seen writing as a part of my future until we got to Korea. Korea was an amazing experience, but still difficult. I think blogging about our days helped me keep some balance. At first I didn't know if anyone by my mom was reading the updates. . . and then I started getting comments from people I never would have guessed would be reading my little blog. My mom emailed me updates and told me that my blog had even been read as part of WMU. I looked forward to each chance to write and received so much positive feedback that I really began to consider writing as something that could be in my future.

I didn't have to wait long. I thought Todd wanted to include devotions in the student book for camp and I had some ideas. I finally mentioned to him that I wanted to give it a shot and he let me go for it. A week and a half later I had five devotions that were used by two youth groups and a group of adult student ministry volunteers at a camp in Panama City.

I'm asking God for more opportunitites. I never pictured myself as a writer, but I can see how things in my past could be leading me that way. And if that's part of the plan the opportunities will come and I want to be ready to take them.

"Prisoners of Hope"

2008-08-17T12:50:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Prisoners of Hope about aid workers Heather Mercer and Dayna Curry's imprisonment by the Taliban in Fall 2001. Imagine being held on unknown charges in Afghanistan as September 11 unfolds. I read a lot at work, (it's okay where I work--I'm not just slacking :), and people always ask if my book is good. When they asked about this one I would just say "it's intense." (By the way Impact Students, the book is still available if you decide you want to read it.) Heather says a lot about the insecurities she felt being unable to communicate with her family and not knowing what was about to happen. I appreciated her honesty that while she knew God was faithful, she didn't always feel it. At one point while others were worried about her, she said really all she needed was to feel security for just a moment, for someone to understand that she didn't feel secure, and then she could go on.

I related to that, even though it was a much smaller scale. Our last night in Korea I was upset but couldn't explain it. I think Heather explained it for me. I didn't control the schedule, the activities, the anything, and even though I loved being in Seoul I felt like I was lost in a strange place. On my own I wouldn't be able to get anywhere or call anyone. My security really was in being with my group. Thursday when Kellie and I were seperated from the other nine of our team, I handled it well. . . for a while. I felt too vulnerable not knowing where everyone else was or where we were going. None of these details were a secret to our hosts, but I didn't want to be out in the city away from the only people I knew. I was frustrated that no one but Kellie seemed to think I had had any reason to be less than happy. After dinner when we were told to ride in the same vehicles back to church (Kellie & me in a car, the rest of the group divided in 2 vans) I was just mad. I didn't want to be seperated again. To me it seemed like an obvious bad idea, but others felt we should do what our hosts asked. Todd offered for him and Leeanne to take mine and Kellie's seats but the seats weren't the issue. No matter who rode in the car, someone would be seperated from the group. I flet that so intensely that I thought it should have been obvious to everyone. It wasn't and here's how I explained it: "No, I'm not riding there". . . "No, you're not riding there". . . "grr". . . some tears. . . ."no!" Very eloquent, huh?

So when Heather described feeling that the group thought she was just stubborn on some issues and that she couldn't control her insecurities, I got it. And I wouldn't call her unfaithful. She followed her faith all the way to Afghanistan and prison. She saw God do the impossible and still struggled with those feelings. So maybe I was just being normal. I'll be going back to Korea next year. I'm very excited to go back, but I will prepare differently. I've already begun checking into a cellular provider with international roaming and I plan to have my laptop with me. I guess I need to know that instant communication is there, even if I don't use it. I'm looking forward to another opportunity to work with Calvary Church, but I also see next year as my chance to redeem myself--to take better care of me so I can be more effective and enjoy more of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences.

I'm back

2008-08-12T17:59:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed I haven't been blogging lately. I have no reason except that summer is almost over and things are getting back to 'normal.' New blogs are on the way, but until then, here are two things I just find funny:
1. The Olympics are sponsored by Coca-Cola, McDonalds and Budweiser. Somehow I don't see any of that on the athletes' tables.
2. Leeanne and I began this little saying last summer and were serious about it. Over a year later, it's just funny now: "We should do that...when things calm down." ha!!

Fourth of July

2008-07-04T17:42:00.000-07:00

"And we've become really good friends. . .

And if anyone, anyone, tries to hurt one of my new friends,

I would take them out.

I would make them suffer so much that they'd

wish they were never born.

And if they ran, I would hunt them down. Thank you, Kathy."

--Gracie Hart, "Miss Congeniality"

These may be the words of Miss Gracie Lou Freebush, but they capture my feelings for the church in Seoul. On our last day in Korea I bought a book about the DMZ and the Korean War. I learned that more than the north attacking the south, the north attacked Seoul. Communism went to great lengths to capture the city that is now dear to me. But Seoul does not operate under communism. . . because the south was supported by another military--ours. I'm grateful the US took a stand. The people we met there don't see us as the country that gets in other people's business or the country that picks fights. Instead, they have a respect for America. I hope Korea is able to one day reunify under democracy. But if Seoul were ever in danger, I hope America would again take a stand. I know eleven people who will.

"I really do want world peace. . ." and sometimes you have to fight for it.

Happy birthday America!

Sunday Morning

2008-06-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

"Jesus paid it all

All to Him owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow."

A man from my church is in the hospital. Sunday morning Todd led a time of prayer for him. As most of our church prayed together at the alter it sounded like one long sniffle as together we cried and prayed for this incredible man. I don't know Gene very well, but his daughters and granddaughters are very special to me. As we prayed I thought a lot about his family. We went back to our seats and Kevin led us in "Jesus Paid it All." I started thinking about how much Gene reminds me of my dad. They are both stroke survivors and they face some of the same challenges. And then we got to verse four. . .

"And when before the throne

I stand in Him complete

'Jesus died my soul to save'

My lips shall still repeat."

. . .and it hit me. One day all their struggles and fears will be over. Things that are hard for them now won't be an issue because they will be absolutely complete. I'd like to keep them both around for a long time, but I know that one day heaven will have something extra special in store for them both.

Pictures -- Friday

2008-06-14T21:33:00.001-07:00

Sarang and Hanul
Sarang and me

driving up to the DMZ
lunch at the DMZ, coke and noodles

Todd, Leeanne and Isaac at the observatory;

this is as close to the wall as I could take a picture

guard station on the river

Incheon International Airport
Flying over Aleutian Islands

Flying over Japan

Flying over Tokyo
Atlanta Airport

Chick-Fil-A and sweet tea!!

waiting to take off from Atlanta
back in Knoxville!!

Pictures -- Thursday

2008-06-14T21:23:00.001-07:00

Talking to Robin and Ashley in the cafe
Yellow team practicing for presentation time
Parents watching team presentation (songs)
Sarang (right) and her best friend

Luke and Leah at the palace

Aaron
Todd
Front of the palace

Changing of the guard
Changing of the guard
Samantha

Kellie, Luke, Leah and Todd
Leeanne's a celebrity!
me

in the shopping area
the shops we visited are on either side of this street
Outback!!

Pictures -- Wednesday Evening

2008-06-14T21:08:00.000-07:00

Inside Voido Full Gospel Church, the largest Christian church in the world

Leah & Kellie

Imax Theater in 63 Square

Pastor and Mrs. Won, Jane and Vera
Dinner on the 59th floor at "Walking on the Clouds"

French Pastry

there are snails in there. . .

Main course
Dessert
Aquarium at 63 Square

Isaac, me and Samantha at Sky Deck, 60th floor
View of downtown Seoul from Sky Deck
Samantha at 63 Square

Pictures -- Wednesday

2008-06-14T20:33:00.001-07:00

Anthony talking to Alyson
Kellie and Robert talking to Jill
the Cafe
English Village Day 3: the younger kids

Aaron and Luke

Kellie
Sarang
Todd teaching

Kellie teaching "I am the Music Man"
Yellow team

Gray Team

Pictures -- Tuesday

2008-06-14T20:17:00.001-07:00

Todd teaching about Daniel and the Lions' DenPastor Won stopped me and Kellie and told us these women wanted pictures with us
Leeanne and Anthony in the clinic
Kellie's team waiting to enter the clinic

The Police Station
Yellow team presentation; "disciple" is a very hard work to

pronounce when you only speak a little English
The pictures begin. . .

Sayone and Sarang

Pastor Won and Luke
Todd and Jeff

We didn't actually eat at this restaurant.

Value meal #2 . . . the Bulgogi Burger

Value meal #4. . . the Shrimp Burger
Memory Day march
After the "Nanta" performance

Pictures -- Monday Evening

2008-06-14T20:11:00.001-07:00

On the bus to Venice Restaurant

Jane, Samantha and Vera

Pastor Won

One of the dessert areas
Samantha and her sushi!!
"Family" picture at Venice

Pictures -- Monday

2008-06-14T19:59:00.000-07:00

"Immigration"
"Security"
Passports being stamped
The "immigration" line outside the church

Singing the "Hello" song

Yellow team teacher
Leading songs
Luke sharing in the cafe with translator (center)

Yellow team
Yellow team picture
Yellow team silly picture :)

My first coke in over a year!

Best snack ever!

A few moments in the cafe before leaving for dinner
The lady on the right came and got me to share with the lady on the left.

She accepted Christ just moments before this picture was taken.

Pictures -- Sunday

2008-06-14T19:49:00.000-07:00

"English Village" banner outside the church

Fliers were also handed out with our pictures to advertise "English Village"
Todd preaching, Pastor Won interpreting
Calvary Choir
Calvary Praise Team
Robert prayed during the service
The deacon interpreted
Responsive Reading

Sermon Title
Lee (left) and Samantha sharing

Korean Barbecue

Samantha & me
Sarang & Hanul
"Family" picture taken by our waitress

Pictures -- Saturday

2008-06-14T19:43:00.000-07:00

View from the balcony of our host home
Samantha, Hanul, me and Sarang
Hanul (Sky)
Sarang (Love)
The welcome drawn on the window!
Youth Game Night
Learning English phrases. . . sort of

Anna & Caleb
English word games
Night view from balcony

Pictures -- Thursday/Friday

2008-06-14T19:37:00.000-07:00

Knoxville Airport Thursday Morning.

Korea, here we come!

Flying over the Beaufort Sea, I think.
Flying over Russia.
(Sorry the picture is turned wrong. It's being stubborn.)

At Incheon International Airport, Friday afternoon.

Jane and Pastor Won introducing us.

Dinner at "The Tree"

Trip Updates #9 --Friday

2008-06-13T23:56:00.001-07:00

Our last day in Korea, at least for now. The first of us back will probably be Jeff. :) This morning we took a "family photo" in our host home and ate breakfast all together. The girls gave me and Samantha candy and a four-leaf clover from Hanul's collection. I also got a video of Sarang's special walk. She is too cute! We exchanged addresses and email and then all met at the church for one final meeting. Pastor Won presented us each with a gift. Todd, Jeff, Luke, Robert and Anthony were also presented Korean Bibles. Each of us was also given a CD of the week's programs. The ladies made sure we each had whatever drink we wanted from the cafe. These people are amazing. We held hands and Pastor Won led us in "God is so Good." And the Americans all cried. Pastor Won asked Todd to pray and then he also prayed in Korean. The church members came around and gave hugs and said good-byes that were more like "see you soon." Twice I've been asked to pinky-promise that I will be back next year. When Hanul left for school this morning, she said, "See you next year." It is not a possibility in the minds of these people that we won't be back.

This morning in the elevator leaving the house, a neighbor asked Sarang who me and Samantha were. She looked up at Isaac and he told her something, which she repeated and then she smiled. Sayone told us the word meant "sisters."

After leaving the church, we drove to the DMZ. (The "de"militarized zone that has more soldiers and land mines than anywhere in the world.) There is a river that runs parallel to the highway from Seoul to the north. The river is "fenced in" with tall barbed wire and manned guard stations. The reason? The river runs south from North Korea and the guards and fence are protection from small groups of soldiers trying to enter by water. In the van I sat up front with Isaac and Caleb. (Caleb works with the youth at Calvary.) Caleb told me of his time in the military. In Korea, young men are required to serve for three years; Caleb served 40 months in the navy and is classified as a lietenant-general grand. He said he traveled to twelve countries, including his time stationed in Guam. He told me that once he had come face to face with the North Korean enemy, but that's all he said about it. When we arrived at the DMZ, we were surprised to see a carnival. I guess they are taking advantage of the tourism, so there is a 'restaurant' (we chose not to try the cooked bugs) and rides, including tea cups. From the outside it looks like fun, but once you step inside you know this is a serious place. Your passports are checked before you can get on the tour bus. We went through a guard station where our passports were checked by a soldier who came onto the bus. We asked Caleb is these were all South Korean soldiers. His response was, "yes. If they are North Korea soldiers, we are dead." Driving up to Dorasan Station we passed signs to remind people of the presence of land mines. At many places (most actually) we were not allowed to take pictures. At Dorasan we were able to look out over an observatory area into the neutral zone. We may have been able to see North Korea if today had not been so cloudy. Inside a small auditorium there was a map of the area. While we were studying the map, Caleb told us that sometimes it floods in North Korea and bodies wash down the river into the South. (Caleb was my personal tour guide--he translated announcements on the bus and pointed out US army bases, etc.)

We went to a gift shop or two before visiting the 3rd tunnel. The tunnel was incredible. I had no idea we'd actually go in. We were given helmets (but had to leave cameras and phones in lockers) and rode what was like a roller coaster car down into the tunnel. We rode through the part South Korea tunneled to reach the actual 3rd tunnel. We were able to walk once we reached the actual tunnel. It's crazy to think that 1) men dug that tunnel for so long without anyone knowing, 2) they dug that far underground, 3) we stood today where soldiers had once prepared to ambush a country and break a peace agreement. Throughout the tunnel are yellow paint markers--the spots where dynamite had been used to further the tunnel.

When we returned from the tunnel, we were able to tour a museum outlining the relationship of the North and the South from the 1950s until now. Then we watched a video that portrays the DMZ as a happy, hopeful place. You could walk away from the video thinking that tomorrow you will go back to the DMZ for a picnic with the North. Today we heard again of the desires for reunification. On the bus, Caleb pointed out to me buildings under construction to be used when the military is united. South Koreans really seem to desire reunification. Only the outside, apparently, considers Korea divided into seperate countries.

We were at the DMZ for about 3 hours. "The ninja" stayed with the van carrying our luggage the whole time we toured. From the DMZ, we drove straight to Incheon International Airport. Pastor and Ms. Won met us there to say good-byes and pray together one last time. Isaac hugged me and Samantha good-bye ("my little princesses"). Isaac is quite a character, always joking. Never believe a word he tells you. His family may be in Knoxville in May. Pastor Won's daughter will be graduating and he and Sayone plan to be there. He asked to see pictures of our homes and dinner menus so he can decide who he wants "home stay" with. Then he told Todd all he needed from him was an email address, a bank number and a pin code.

We said our last good-byes a little before 5 pm (4 am in Knoxville) and headed through security, which was not nearly as involved as in Knoxville. We found a Hagen-Daas store. A man overheard that I couldn't get a wireless connection and pointed me toward a book store with computers for free internet access. So I was able to at least email my parents that I was on my way. We exhanged our wons for dollars and, after taking pictures of the most incredible toilets, boarded the plane for Knoxville.

At 7:40 pm Seoul/6:40 am Knoxville we flew over Tokyo. It was amazing!! As we first flew over Japan we could barely see lights when the clouds lifted. But once we reached Tokyo you could see the outline of Japan's coastline in the city lights. Amazing, amazing, amazing.

I fell asleep for about an hour or so and woke up at 11 am Knoxville time (midnight in Seoul). It was completely dark when I fell asleep. When I woke up it was sunrise time over the Aleutian Islands. It's beautiful, but hard to believe I am coming from midnight on my way to noon and watching sunrise.

I know I've only had experience flying for a little over a week now, but this group of flight attendants is not going to be my favorite. And the food...well... the Chick-Fil-A at the Atlanta airport was delicious!!

We left Incheon at 6:05 pm Friday June 13. We landed in Atlanta at 6:20 pm Friday June 13. We had to remind each other exactly how long it had been since we had gotten up. At the time we landed, it had been about 25 hours for us. Our flight in Atlanta was scheduled to leave at 9:35. We spent a while on the runway and actually left at 9:55. We were in Knoxville by 10:20. The actual flight time from Atlanta to Knoxville is about the same as my drive from home to church. Luke and I were seated on the back of the plane, but the group waited for us outside the terminal so we could all enter the airport together. As we turned the corner we saw a group of people with "welcome back" posters. . . and then realized they were for us!! Thank you so much to all of you who came out to the airport late on a Friday night to welcome us home. It means so much!! Also, thank you so much for the positive feedback on the blogs. We will be sharing more about the trip during the Sunday morning service this week. I know it will be great...Robert started working with the video on the plane and Todd has already begun collecting copies of our pictures. I'm a little sad that this will be my last blog of South Korea '08. Thanks for being a part of the experience!!

More (pictures) later. . .

Trip Updates #8--Thursday

2008-06-13T23:25:00.001-07:00

In the cafe this morning we got to talk to Robin and Ashley face to face on the computer. I took a picture of the screen so they can be in our trip pictures too!

Today is Isaac's birthday. We sang in the cafe and the van.
Every morning with breakfast we have had incredible fruit. Sayone told us this morning that apples are only good in the morning. She said Korean mothers do not give their children apples at night, because it is bad for them.

English Village was short today. The kids came through "immigration" and went downstairs for songs. Todd talked to them about David and Goliath. Then each team worked on songs for the presentation time. I missed the preparation time. One of my team's kids spilled her milk, so I went upstairs to get napkins. I cleaned it up and went back upstairs to find a trash can. (Trash cans are tiny and elusive in Korea.) I still had the wet napkins in my hand and someone grabbed me to go share outside. We shared with a woman who had lots of questions. At one point she decided to pray to receive Christ, but stopped the interpreter in the middle of the prayer to ask more questions. I couldn't understand the conversation, but I wanted to stay, to pray and to see the ending. But someone pulled me away, I think to share with someone else who had left when we got inside the cafe. Pastor Won then sent me back downstairs, because parents were already there and presentations were starting. The kids sang the songs for the parents by sections. Then the parents were asked to sing one of the songs ("I am the Music Man") for the kids. Again, "Behold the Lamb" was the last presentation. Sue, one of the teachers and part of Todd and Leeanne's host family, told me that Pastor Won asked her if they could begin learning the dance too. While we were in presentation time, I saw the lady I had shared with outside. Her daughter was actually on the yellow team, my team. Later I found out that her name is Grace and that she chose not to accept Christ. But now she has a tie to the church through English Village; Calvary Church, I'm sure will follow up and not give up.

After English Village we again were "celebrities," taking picture after picture with kids. But this time we were tired and sitting down so the kids would sit on our laps for pictures. No longer Mickey Mouse, now we were a room full of Santa Claus!

We ate at the church and then left for another afternoon of being tourists. Isaac, Caleb, and the man we call "the Ninja" (long story) took us to a palace in Seoul (no longer occupied) to tour and watch the changing of the guard. It was stupendous (our word for the day). And, even there away from the church, people wanted to try out their English on us. So many people would ask "how are you?" but it may have been all the English they knew. Leeanne, more than once, was surrounded by a group of girls asking her name, where she was from, what she does and if they could have a picture made with her. And Jeff, of course, had a group of women from the church with him most of the time. You've probably seen most of their pictures on Todd's blog. :)

From the palace we went to a shopping area. Kellie and me rode with two of the girls in a car. Korean cars have so much technology, including talking turn-by-turn GPS. And yet we passed our starting point twice, asked two taxi drivers for directions and went the wrong way down a one-way street. And it seems that remembering where you park in the garage (or even in which garage) is very low priority--for all Korean drivers, really.

We shopped at an outdoor market area--shops down both sides of the street. It's funny that so much of the stuff said "made in China" just like at home. There were some high school girls doing a school project there. They would video foreigners saying in Korean that they loved the school. (I can't remember the name of the school.) They told you how to pronounce it and had a homemade cue card with the phrase written phonetically. Samantha and me both took part and they gave us each a small gift. They were really impressed when I said "thank you" in Korean. I may only know one word, but I know it well. Ha! Acutally, I've picked up a few more, but "thank you" is still the easiest to remember.

Then we went to dinner. . . Outback!! We had passed Outback several times during the week and each time Todd would say how much he wanted to be there. And then we got to go! It's a little different than ours. If you don't ask for a drink, you may not get one. They did, however, bring an orange drink to our table. The waiter put two straws in each glass and set a glass beside every other person. For a society that prides itself on cleanliness, there is a lot of food sharing and eating from the same dish. But the most important part, the Outback bread, was very much the same. Stupendous!

We were hoping to go to a fabric shop and Isaac had arranged for us to after dinner. . . but then it rained so we went straight to the indoor mall. (Still a little sad we didn't get any fabric from Korea. Rain seems to affect activities more than at home. Sunday night it rained before we drove to dinner. Isaac said the reason the restaurant wasn't crowded was because of the rain.) This mall stays open from 10:30 am until 5:00 am! What an experience. Our malls are seperated by stores; theirs are seperated by products. Each level had a different theme: children's, souvenirs, home, etc. Each person works for a certain area, but how you tell where one area begins and ends I never figured out. Most don't have check out lines--they come to you. "You ready?" And some things don't have price tags; they tell you the price once you look interested in something. When you pass people you know in the mall, it is apparently normal to say "let me show" (which must mean both "show me" and "let me see") and pull items out of the other's bags. (Glad I didn't buy any underwear.)

The young women here have given us all Korean names. Some have special meaning, like Todd's "blessed man" and Leeanne's "love." Some of us share a name with an actress or model. Leah's namesake is a model. The girls spotted her on a lifesize carboard cutout advertisement for a phone, so Leah had her picture made with her. "The ninja" bought for me, Kellie, Robert and Luke pictures of our namesakes.

When we got back to the church, Samantha and I stopped at Leah and Kellie's "home" for a few minutes. When we left I sat off an alarm. So there we are around midnight trying to turn off this alarm. The doors are different than ours. They may have a deadbolt, but they also have a button to unlock. Guess I picked the wrong button.

When we got back to Isaac and Sayone's house, they had gifts for us. Sayone had printed pictures from the week and put them in an album for us. They gave us some other things, including chopsticks, with the warning that we better be experts when get back to Korea. Isaac talked to us about his vision for the church to have a school with English-speaking teachers and that he included us in those future-teacher hopefuls. (Don't worry. Not feeling that calling.) He also told me to bring my boyfriend next year and told Samantha she couldn't; she should just keep studying hard.

More later. . .

Trip Updates #7--Wednesday

2008-06-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

Mornings in the cafe are amazing. Leah and Aaron are on the phone with Karen. Robert and Kellie are on the computer talking face to face with Jill and Dutch. Anthony is on the phone talking face to face with Alyson. Todd and Leeanne are on the phone with the kids. And we are all together.

School is still in session here. The kids that went to English Village are required to do a report and take pictures to get an excused absence. (That explains the first "take a picture with my child," just not the next seventeen.) At breakfast this morning (bacon & eggs) Sayone showed us Hanul's homework. She has written one page about English Village and has one page of pictures. She is taking pictures of her and Sarang with me and Samantha at her home and walking down the sidewalk together. She is also taking a picture of her and Jeff at English Village. So now our pictures will be all over school. Hanul's backpack could have been Kortney or Rylee's--a Hello Kitty bag with notebooks and folders, a pencil box and even a fundraiser form.

English Village today was for kindergarten, which means ages 4 to about 8. And, yes, in America that's ages 2 to about 7. "Immigration" was a little different this morning: at the end of the line were the kids who still had a good hold on mom's leg. Once we were downstairs in the sanctuary for the opening, kids were running everywhere. One of my yellow team kids ran past a few adults to the stairs and no one seemed to notice. So, yes, I got to chase kids up the stairs. While I was trying to help get the kids in the right teams, the rest of "the Americans" were up in the cafe sharing "steps to Peace with God." Todd later got to share with the other American girl there who is a Mormon. She did not make a decision, but what a seed could have been planted.

After lunch Leah and I were going back to our classrooms to get ready for the second class. One of the Korean workers chased us down. "Where are you going?!" Leah told him we were getting ready for class and he seemed okay with that. The funny thing is that while he was chasing us up the stairs, there were little kids all over the stairwell with no teachers. He didn't even seem to notice them. Leah and I were both pretty frustrated. There could be kids unattended all over the building, but by all means know where the Americans are at all times. Our classes were very different than Monday. The Korean teachers translated more since the kids were younger. And we got to use coloring sheets--the magic of crayons!

After English Village, we went "home" to change and meet back at church. About 10 minutes before we were to meet back, some of us got the message that we were supposed to be dressed nice. So we then were trying hard to come up with nice outfits. (It was the shoes that posed a problem: we weren't supposed to wear sandals, but some us had to and it was fine.) I was kind of frustrated they wouldn't tell us until the last minute. And when we are getting ready we are in 6 different houses and can't just call each other to spread the word. Todd had a good perspective on it though. They are used to an older group who comes to work with adults. We are a younger group who is working with kids. We are dressed like everyone else at English Village, so we don't think about being dressed wrong in the evening.

They took us to tour Voido Full Gospel Church--the largest Christian church in the world. Twelve thousand in a service, seven services each Sunday (translated during the service into several languages), twenty-one churches that receive video broadcasts and 765,000 members.

Then we went to 63 Square. Until recently, 63 Square was the tallest building in Korea. There are 63 main floors and three basement levels. Pastor Won told us the building was designed by a Christian man: designed in the shape of praying hands with 66 floors for the 66 books of the Bible. 63 Square is a world in itself. First, we went to an Imax Theater and watched a film about the history of Egypt. The fun thing was watching the actors' mouths: I don't know what the original language of the film was, but it was dubbed in Korean and we had headsets for English. The words never matched the actors or even happened at the same time.

After Imax we went to the 59th floor for dinner at "Walking on the Clouds." Again, the fanciest restaurant I've ever been to, where the waiters push your chair in and your meal comes in courses. First comes the appetizer...French pastry. If you think French pastry implies snails, you'd be right. I ate only the pastry crust. I've eaten a lot here, but the snails helped me find the line not to cross. Samantha, Aaron and Luke ate them and Todd tried one. The next course was French onion soup. I was so excited! Ms. Won sat across from me. It was the first time she had ever tried onion soup and the look on her face said onion soup was as appetizing to her as sushi to me. Next was the main course, your choice of steak or fish. The fish and veggies were amazing. Then came a salad with kiwi dressing and a fruit plate. Total cost for us, the pastor's family, the two men from the church who drove and the man from the church who paid was $900! After dinner we went back to the main level and went to "Sea World." The aquarium was great! (I'm telling you, 63 Square is a world of its own!) Then we went to the Sky Deck on the 60th floor and took pictures of the city at night. There is one area where the floor is clear, so you can see the ground. It was an incredible evening!

The church has given us the site-seeing trip of a lifetime. It has been amazing, but we are itching for a chance to shop, to bring something home with us. I don't love shopping, but this could be once in a lifetime.

More interesting facts: U-turns are not illegal here. In fact, intersections have left-turn lanes and u-turn lanes. Elevators in America hold 6 to 8 people. Elevators in Korea hold about 20, even though they are the same size.

More later. . .

Trip Updates--Friday

2008-06-13T01:13:00.000-07:00

Haven't had time to blog the past couple of days. Will update when I am home.
It is now 5:15 pm in Seoul (4:15 am Knoxville) and we are at Incheon International Airport preparing to board. See you soon. . .

Trip Updates #6--Tuesday

2008-06-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

I am 26 years old in America. I am 28 here. (Lost 13 hours, gained 2 years.) Here you are 1 on the day you are born, and gain another year every January 1. So I was 1 on November 28, 1981 and 2 on January 1, 1982. Crazy, huh? If you are born on December 31, you turn 2 the day after you were born.

We've figured out how to get time together. We meet early before English Village and have the cafe almost to ourselves. We can talk and get online. Sometimes we aren't as early as we'd like to be because our hosts want to cook breakfast for us. This morning...bacon and eggs!

As the kids lined up in "immigration" this morning, one of the ladies told me, Todd and Robert to go outside and say "hello" to the kids. When we walked out there the kids looked and waved and smiled, kind of like 3 Disney characters had walked through the door in our place. And the kids have pictures of all of us on their phones.

While Todd was doing Bible Story time with the kids, Kellie and me went to the cafe to get something to drink. (Not that we didn't want to hear the story; you just have to take breaks when you can.) We were getting ready to go back downstairs and Pastor Won stopped us and told us there were 2 ladies who wanted pictures made with us. I don't know if we had even met them before then.

Today we didn't have story telling time, so in the morning I got to stay with the yellow team. Our first station was a time to prepare for the group presentation in the afternoon. My team was given the story of Jesus washing the disciples' feet in John 13. Me and the teacher I am working with decided to let the kids play while we talked through the story together. We each turned to John 13 in our Bible and sat the Bibles side by side: English and Hangul/Korean. The kids thought it was pretty neat, but they didn't know why some of the words in my Bible were in black ink and some were in red. When they heard the translation of "the red words are when Jesus is talking" they got so excited!

There were 2 main stations today: the police station and the clinic. Before lunch Jeff, Robert and Aaron were the cops and Leeanne and Anthony were the doctors. After lunch Luke, Leah and Samantha were the cops and Kellie and me were the doctors. The clinic taught food vocabulary and which foods are good/bad for teeth. (Pizza and hamburger are on the bad list here.)

After the afternoon stations there was a presentation time for parents. It was insane. At home everyone would be completely focused on their child's performance. Here people talked and moved around the whole time. Most of the time you couldn't hear the kids' parts. The last 'group presentation' was "Behold the Lamb." People seemed to really enjoy it. Even if I did get completely off at the end. But the solos were good and it went really well.

When the presentations were over and we had sung "And We All Go Traveling By" for the 57th time (rough estimate), the kids continued taking pictures of us and with us. It got crazy. People were actually lined up to have their children's pictures taken with us. We probably spent at least 30 minutes doing nothing but smiling for the camera. And they weren't taking pictures one at a time. There would be 10 people standing side by side, all taking our picture. I held my camera at my waist and started taking pictures of them taking our pictures. One mom came up to me and said "Oh, my daughter loves you" like she was talking to Hannah Montana, not me. Then Leah and Kellie took a picture with one of the men from the church. One of the ladies yelled "he's single." Leah heard "he's singer" and got really excited. "Really? He is?!" Leah thought she'd met a country singer, but she may have another fiance.

After English Village we went into downtown Seoul (the oldest part of Korea). We drove part of the way and then rode the subway. First an airplane, now a subway... It's amazing how crowded the subway is, even when we came back around 11.

Dinner was originally at a pasta restaurant, but Isaac didn't think we had time, so we went to . . . McDonald's!! On our way, I joked about there being something crazy like shrimp burgers. . . yes, it was value meal #4.

After dinner they took us to see "Nanta." Nanta is basically a broadway show. It's hard to describe, but picture a comedy version of Stomp, set in a Korean restaurant kitchen, with audience members--including Aaron--pulled into the scenes unexpectedly. It was amazing. And tickets are not cheap. The church has had this planned for us. Between tickets, subway rides and dinner, tonight's price tag would be close to $1000. And that's just tonight. I still have not paid for anything here.

When we left the show there was a parade going on. It was for "Memory Day." People were walking down the street with flags and candles. It was really cool once we knew for certain it was a parade and not a protest. We can't read the signs, you know.

The Nanta stage was in with a movie theater. I got a Korean movie poster for "Indiana Jones" and "Prince Caspian."

Lunch today was not my favorite, so I didn't eat much. McDonald's took a while to get all our orders ready. Actually, I just ate fries. My chicken wasn't ready until we were getting ready to leave and literally run into the theater beside McD's. So I hit my food stash. :) I was really excited about sitting in my room and eating "dinner." I had set out a powerbar, cheese crackers, dried fruit and the goodies Karen sent. I was so excited. . . and then I got busted. Isaac wanted to try the things Karen sent. They ate all but 2 of the peanut butter cookies. They want me to give those to the girls tomorrow. (sniff, sniff.) I think they feel like we were holding out on them not offering up our stash sooner. I don't think I'm a selfish person, but this was my stash. (Although, they didn't see it all. :) Karen, Isaac said in 2009 he will pay the extra bag fee if you will fill a suitcase with peanut butter cookies.

More later. . .

Trip Updates #5--Monday

2008-06-09T06:37:00.000-07:00

We now have trouble make complete sentence. . . talk each other slow and little words. Need remind each other we do speak English fluent.

I woke up today feeling your prayers. Thank you so much (especially those I've talked to through email.) Before I tell you about the day, let me just say that I do feel right being here now.

English Village: Day 1
English Village began at 9:30. The kids lined up outside the gate--church door--with their 'passports.' They passed through 'immigration'--Leah, Luke and Samantha asking them simple English questions. They passed through 'security' where Aaron 'scanned' them. And then Jeff stamped their passports and allowed them into the 'airport' where Anthony directed them to the sanctuary. When we began we were asked to introduce ourselves (names and hobbies) for the kids. If only you could have heard the collective gasp when Leeanne said she was a mother of four. :) Then some of us were taken back to share "Steps to Peace with God". I talked with a woman who had questions and chose not to pray to receive Christ, but asked me to pray for her. I paused for translation and realized it wasn't coming. (Many of our translaters aren't really translaters; we follow with our finger when reading the English side so they know where to read on the Korean side.) So I finished praying and used the one word I know; that and "amen" may be all she knew.

Leah, Kellie, Samantha and me stayed in the cafe to talk. The Korean workers in English Village have matching t-shirts. (Todd loves his hot pink shirt. Just kidding.) While we talked, a group of women started holding shirts to us to size us and then handed us shirts and motioned for us to put them on. If they didn't think they fit well, they'd just try to take them off for us. (Picture Kellie: "It fits! It fits! Really it does!")

Then it was time to teach. My first class went well because the Korean teacher speaks good English (she lived in Utah for two years while her husband finished his degree.) and she is very good with kids. I read the book and asked lots of questions. We practiced the song with the cd and her guitar and with the dance. The funniest moment was when I took a group picture then tried to explain a silly group picture. I tried to explain 'silly' by making faces at them. So then I said "You make silly face" and took a picture. . .of them just staring at me. Then one of the helpers told them to put hands on side of head and wiggle fingers--that's a silly picture.

Then we had an American lunch--salisbury steak (maybe), shrimp, fruit, roll with strawberry jelly that comes from the most amazing jelly packet that we definately need in America, and coke. I'm not a big meat eater at home, but here I'm like "bring it on."

Then the kids watched a movie about Moses. Then the second class started. This group had older girls who speak good English. We had a great time, except that I sang the song so many times with the dance that I was all out of breath most of the time. Twice today the American teachers have led the song--the very long song that will forever be in my head--in front of everyone. Don't worry that you won't see it--Todd has it on video.

When my second class left I told them "thank you" in Hangul--my one word. Their faces all lit up and they started talking to me all at the same time, all in Hangul. Then the teacher taught me how to say "I don't know". It was almost snack time, so the kids taught me to say "I am hungry." Snack was amazing! It was a cold waffle topped with a banana slice topped with ice cream topped with a gummy bear. Try it! So good!

All day the kids have been asking to have their pictures made with us and we've been signing autographs. I started a collection of signatures too--the kids have been writing their names in my journal in both Hangul and English. One boy also wrote "I love you" in Hangul.

Some things to know before you visit Korea: 1-floors can have a step-off at any time. Be careful. 2-In some public restrooms, ladies, the toilet paper is outside the stall. Don't forget.

While I was sitting here writing, one of the ladies pointed to me, walked over and pointed to her friend at another table and said "Erin, she not believe Jesus. Come. Talk." And yes, she prayed to receive Christ. And they are sitting and talking while the woman's kids play in the cafe and I'm okay being the American who just draws people in.

All the host families and Americans were treated to a dinner at Venice Seafood tonight. It is a very nice buffet with salad bar, soup bar, main bar, Korean food bar, sushi bar, bakery, pizzeria, a whole dessert area and ice cream!! Oh my goodness! One of the deacons paid for us to go and reserved the main room for us. The floor was a dance floor with clear panels and lights underneath that change colors. There is a design drawn in sand in each panel as well. We had a great time. (This may be the meal that makes me sick though. I ate way too much. I tried some new stuff and had broccoli soup with a croissant which was amazing and then about 10 different desserts and a plate of fresh fruit. The desserts, by the way, come in almost bite-size servings so you aren't crazy to have 10 desserts. At least I'm telling myself that.)

Tomorrow we will perform "Behold the Lamb" for students (and maybe parents) at 3pm (that's 2am to you.) Please pray for us. Samantha and I are doing new solos, that we began learning just this afternoon.

Todd had a realization today that gave me perspective. This church is used to "the Americans" being a group of older adults. So they haven't thought that we'd like to stay up late to hang out with each other. That, for whatever reason, helps me when are made to go home. And today we had more time together; probably the most since we were on the plane. The next 3 evenings we will be doing things as a group (shopping, site seeing, etc) so we are feeling better just knowing we have time to be together.

Oh, don't forget to go to Todd's blog and help choose a wife for Jeff. :) Turns out matchmaking in the church is universal.

More later...

Trip Updates #4--Sunday

2008-06-09T05:48:00.000-07:00

I ended up staying up until 12:30 last night journaling (blogging on paper :) We had time to sleep this morning except that is it completely light here by 5:30, so I was wide awake by 5:45 with no hope of going back to sleep.

Last night Sayone gave us a pizza menu to look at. I wish you could see it!! The featured pizza is "Seafood Island" with seafood toppings and shrimp, wrapped in a dough, standing upright in a ring around the crust. And the large pizza is 34 us dollars. Many of the other toppings I didn't recognize. I finally saw something that looked like pepperoni on the last pizza. I've never been so happy to see a pepperoni in my life! (Robert, Jeff, Luke & Aaron had Papa John's Sunday night. They said it tasted just like at home. Mom--Papa John's and a pillow when I get home. ")

Leeanne and I are discovering some things that are universal. 1-Teenagers here also make peace signs when you get out the camera. (Except here we think it might mean "victory over North Korea" not "peace") 2-The team we were on during game time last night appeared to be mostly middle schoolers. And guess what? They text during youth too! It's a universal epidemic!! Someone please find a cure!!

There is one thing I am very confused about. We take our shoes off when entering homes. We took our shoes off before sitting down at the restaurant. We take them off when we enter the children's area at church. But we don't take them off when we enter the sanctuary. I mentioned it to Leeanne and she said "there's a blog in that." And there is. Could it be, like us, that they do some things just out of tradition and don't think about the meaning or significance of it? Like when we skip service because "it's only the Lord's Supper" or "the pastor's out of town"? this culture seems more deliberate in their traditions, so I think there may be a better explanation. I hope to be able to ask Isaac about it.

From what I understand, Singapore, Hong Kong and Seoul are the safest places in the world. We have been told several times they we are perfectly safe to walk down the street by ourselves even at night. Laying in bed awake (early) this morning I realized I haven't heard a siren since we've been here.

Last night at dinner we were told "only one American at each table." We think the students may have been assigned to talk to us. I sat with the English teacher (who brought back memories of the 'Korean stalker' for those of you who know what that means). Anyway, he told me that many young people want reunification with North Korea. That really surprised me. It was the first time I'd heard North Korea mentioned. Flying here we seemed to go pretty far out of our way to avoid flying in North Korean space. Then he asked me if I was interested in the fall election in the US. I told him I very much am. He asked me who I will vote for. I told him that I will be voting for John McCain. He said, "Oh, you are a Republican! I bet you are also of conservative mind." I said yes, but was thinking, 'this guy may know more aobut our election than many voting Americans."

For breakfast this morning...frosted flakes!! Then me and Samantha went to the church to practice "Behold the Lamb." Except that we missed the memo that we aren't doing it. It's frustrating because that is the one thing I can bring. The communication (lack there of) in our team is more frustrating than the language barrier. There are times it has felt like me and Samantha are here by ourselves, because we just haven't seen the others when we have down time. We waited at the church for a while and then walked back to the house (apartment) to ask Isaac to call the people Leah and Kellie are staying with so we would be able to talk to them. People don't take your cell phones for granted!! I would have given all my money to be able to talk to Todd this morning, and he's only two floors away. (Isaac and Sayone asked if we would dance at least for them. So we'll do it sometime, just not in the expected way.)

Calvary has services at 9 and 11. We attended both, but the first was very hard for me. I'm struggling with "being thrown into things" without really knowing what is going on. After the service I was able to talk to Leeanne for a few minutes and that helped so much. The first service is for people who will work with the kids, etc, in the second service. The second service is the main service. Jeff sang with the praise team. They sang mostly in English today. When they did sing in Hangul they asked Jeff to continue singing in English. Robert prayed with translation. We were each given a rose. Pastor Won had us stand while the people sang to us. (Don't really know what they sang.) And Todd preached with Pastor Won interpreting. (Maybe the first time ever Todd has been stationary while preaching. Ha!) As the service ended Pastor Won motioned for us to go upstairs quickly. We didn't know why then, but we were to greet people as they came upstairs. While I was greeting, one of the ladies grabbed my arm and told me to get my "Steps to Peace with God." (When they want our attention, they just grab us and push us where they want us. That is very hard to get used to.) With an interpreter I went through the presentation with a man who prayed to receive Christ. I went back downstairs to get our stuff from the sanctuary. I had not put them down yet and someone yelled "Erin! Come! Now!" So I dropped the bags and went through the presentation with a woman who also prayed to receive Christ. Then I was able to eat lunch with Luke and Jeff.

After lunch we ran "home" to change clothes and meet back at the church to go share on the streets. While we were waiting, Leeanne and I were talking. One of the ladies grabbed my arm and pulled me to the team she wanted me to be on. A little warning and the chance to end a sentence would be great. Anyway... Samantha and I were on a team with people my age. We talked to a few people. I think 3 prayed to receive Christ. One man we talked to was a Buddhist and didn't want to talk so much. Our team stopped to rest in the park. The guys bought us bottled water and chocolate bars. And then one of the guys asked me to be his girlfriend. Awkward!! ("Er-in. . . how do you think of Korean men? . . ")

We went back to the cafe and looked forward to time together. . . except a storm was coming so Sayone had us go back to the house. Another hour of opportunity to be together was gone. It really is so hard. I know my attitude about this is not right, but sometimes I feel like they let us be together when they want to show us off and when we feel like we finally have some time together they pull us apart. I want so much to finish a conversation with Leeanne and Leah would probably like to see Luke sometime.

American television and movies are very big here. Friday was Veteran's day here. Isaac knew our independence day is July 4th because of Tom Cruise and "Born on the Fourth of July." Many people have told me that Aaron looks like Scofield on "Prison Break" an my "family" thinks that Robert looks like Sean Connery. (Some also think Samantha and me are sisters and that Todd is Jeff's short brother.) A danger of American movies--not knowing what words in English are curse words. Pretty interesting conversation though.

We went to dinner with our hosts families tonight. This is the first time we've been in the family car--no car seats, don't have to wear seat belts, little ones sit up front too. And even though we drive on the same side of the road, don't think driving here is the same as in America. We went to a Korean Barbecue. The food cooks on a "grill" in the center of the table. They put sweet potatoes (small and yellow) in the coals so when you are finished with the meat, the potatoes are ready. The barbecue was pork and duck. The duck was really good. Again we had kimchee and noodles. I'm doing a little better with chopsticks but have a way to go. We took many pictures there.

We then went back to church for "English Village" meeting. English Village is the Bible School this week. First we had to learn motions for songs. Some of them acted as though we'd have a hard time learning, but the point of English Village is for the kids to learn some basic English and Bible stories, so the songs are all in English. Tonight was very confusing trying to figure out exactly what their expectations are for us. We were split into two groups--Crafts and Storytelling. Leeanne, Robert, Aaron, Jeff and Anthony are craft teachers. Samantha, Luke, Leah, Kellie and me are storytellers. (Todd comes in to action whenever the schedule calls for "American Pastor." Monday and Wednesday he will be teaching the Bible story. We didn't know that until today.) I assumed that in the story-telling group we helped with story time. Nope. We teach, they help. The songs they are learning come from books, so we are to read the book, ask questions, do word activities and then teach the song. Basically it went like this "Here's your lesson plan. You teach tomorrow. But it's English, so no problem." The Korean teachers (and some of our group too) don't see why we would be nervous about a 40-minute English lesson with 15 Korean elementary students who don't speak English. They are expecting 150 kids for Monday and Tuesday (elementary) and another 150 Wednesday and Thursday (kindergarten). The kids will be broken into 10 teams. (Go Yellow team!!) The meeting was frustrating. We asked if we were supposed to sing the song with the kids. "No. No. A Korean teacher will do that." Then at the end of the meeting "You will each have a cd to teach the kids the song." I guess we'll find out tomorrow.

We were able to broadcast to West Lonsdale. There were some glitches (about an hour and a half's worth) but the guys worked them out and had us rolling just in time. Kudos to Leeanne for remembering that the computer was on mute.

We are now supposed to do two dances Tuesday and Thursday. I'm not optimistic the four of us will be able to get away long enough to practice and without someone taking one of us right out of practice to do something else.

Todd said there is a dinner Monday night for all the host families and us. Hopefully we will be able to talk to each other. One of the things I miss the most is being able to end our day praying together.

More later...

Trip Updates #3--Saturday

2008-06-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning (Friday night to you) we had time to at the host home to sleep in and unpack. Our family was so prepared for us: hangers ready for our clothes, shelves cleared for us to use. We had a big breakfast. Friday night I tried some of everything because I thought we were supposed to and now I may have a reputation as a big eater. Oops. :) Of course, Luke is the one Isaac calls the vacuum cleaner. For breakfast we had scrambled eggs, sausages, grapes, milk, juice, and a bread like french bread with fruit and nuts in it and a cheese spread on it. I was very nervous about the sausages since I don't like them at home, but this was good and very different than ours. We sat around the table and talked and looked at the pictures I brought. The pictures were great to start conversation about family, church, Knoxville, etc. The sunsphere was hard to explain. Isaac said Jessica looks like Pocahotas! :) The girls enjoyed Samantha's myspace and seeing the pictures of Disney World. It is neat to talk with Christians in other places about their vision for the church. Incredible.

After breakfast we played a board game--blokus--which is a simple game but was hard for us at first. It's like tetris, but backwards.

The view from the balcony is amazing. Seoul is a tall city, they build up where we build out. From the 22nd floor I got great pictures of the area we're in.

Isaac asked how many people go to our church. He said "that's all? we have over 200 kids. We take our shoes off when we go in. That's 400 shoes!!"I don't think I could ever explain how welcoming the family has been. At the desk in our room was a basket with bottled water, candy, chocolate and kleenexes. As soon as we got there, Sayone put our flowers in water and put mine on the desk also. Isaac told us we can use the phone and internet (though I'm not comfortable doing that here--privacy is a rare thing here it seems.) Sayone gave us their phone number to give to our parents. They are great. We are very blessed to be with this family, and the girls, Hanul (sky) and Sarang (love) are precious!

Isaac and Sayone are teaching us to use chopsticks. We practiced with "trainer chopsticks" kind of like the plastic silverware we have for toddlers.

For lunch we had fruit and bolgogi. I was a little nervous again. 1-lunch was not far removed from a big breakfast. 2-I don't really like beef. But again, I kind of liked it. (I don't know if I really like it or if it's so many people are praying specifically for me and the food.)

Then we went to church to start working. Today was very hard for me. I flet like I never knew what was going on. We walked into the cafe thinking we were going to find out the plan for the day and stepped right into the action. Todd and Leeanne had gone early and a woman came by who had never heard the gospel. Todd and Pastor Won shared with her and she prayed to receive Christ right then. Then someone else came and someone else...as the rest of us arrived we were given an English/Hangul version of the "Steps to Peace with God" presentation and told to look over it quickly. Before we really knew what was happening, church members were bringing people in from the street and having us talk to them. We would read the English side and lead them through a prayer. We saw many decisions, but still I struggled with why we are here. The church members are really the workers. I think we--the Americans--are just drawing people here. I know that is important, but I felt somewhat useless at times.

I also wish we could spend more time with the team. I'm used to ending mission trip days by sharing stories of each other's day and being able to talk things through and pray together. Here, they take us back to our host home as soon as activities are finished. I know they are doing it out of consideration to us, to make sure we rest, but I would give anything for some time with Leeanne and Leah.

We spent the afternoon in the cafe talking to people as they were brought in. Then we had dinner at the church--another big meal. We were talking about how much we have eaten since we've been in Seoul and how stuffed we constantly are when a man came and told us to go downstairs for dinner. We had salad, soup, rice, spaghetti (with corn in it), and what I thought was chicken until someone later asked me how I liked the pork. Also, where we make sure everyone has a drink before the meal begins, here a drink seems to be an after thought. That is very different for people used to a lot of beverages and who are a little unsure about the food.

After dinner we had a time of games for youth. Everything is already planned out; we just participated with the students. The students are in a program to learn English, so our main role was to be the "native speaker" in certain word games.

We went back to the homes around 10pm (9 am in Knoxville). Samantha and I practiced "Behold the Lamb" for Sunday's service. Sorry to the people on the 21st floor. We forgot we weren't on ground level when we were practicing the jumps. Oops. When we were practicing I didn't know what Isaac and Sayone were thinking. They walked out of the room and I thought we'd done something bad. Then they came back with cameras.

Hanul showed me her "passport" for Bible school, so I showed her mine. Then we compared dollars to won. Even with the language barrier it was good. She got up and left and I thought maybe she was frustrated with the barrier. Then she came back in with her coin collection and showed me coins from the Phillipines, China and Australia.

I am exhausted, but still a little surprised that it's just 11:30 on a mission trip and we're ready for bed.

More later...

Trip Updates #2--Thursday/Friday

2008-06-06T23:46:00.000-07:00

My first flight! When we all met at the airport and Todd handed me my ticket, I asked my mom if we could put it in my baby book with my other firsts. :) My sweet parents stood outside the security gates and watched and waved until they couldn't see us anymore. And Karen, wow, she brought us each a bag full of our favorite homemade treats and a card of encouragement. I was at the airport with people from church, but really it just felt like family.

So I really enjoyed my first flight. It lasted all of 25 minutes. I was amazed at how slow everything seemed to go by. You know in the car how everything is just zooming past? I just kept thinking about perspective. How the higher we climbed the more we saw and yet the slower it moved and more controlled it appeared. Our perspective on the ground is so small, but God has it all under control. (A little Twila Paris anyone?)

As we were getting ready to land, the lady I sat with and I started talking about our destinations. When she heard what we were doing she pulled out some paper and wrote "Erin-Korea" and told me she would be praying for me.

The Atlanta airport was cool. Our layover was less than an hour, but we rode the "airport subway"--I don't know what it's really called. FYI: when the announcer says to "hold on" you should.

There were many Asian families waiting to board our flight. I don't know what I expected our flight to be like, but for some reason I was surprised by how many Koreans were on the flight. As we were waiting I thought how it could be possible, and so like God, that we could be flying with people we will talk to in Seoul. We could possible share the gospel with someone from the flight days after we land. The announcements and menus were in English and Hangul. The only Hangul word I picked out the whole flight was the word for "thank you" (calm salm nee dah). But I was still proud. "Hey! I know that word!"

The flight from Atlanta to Seoul was completely different than the flight out of Knoxville. The plane was huge! Three aisles of three seats and I was right in the center. Luke on the right of me, sleepy-drooling-likes-to-lean-over-boy on my left. (He woke up about 10 hours into the flight and turned out to be a really cool guy.) Each seat could start and stop the movie of its choice whenever or even play computer games on the touch screen. The food was good and the flight attendants amazing.

When we weren't watching movies, we could watch the progress of our plane on a map. I thought we'd fly across the states, but instead we flew north through Canada. We watched our plane on the map as we entered Manitoba--"Hello Leah!"--and even took pictures of the screen then. About 4:30 pm Knoxville time the coolest thing happened--we flew over the Northwest Territorities close to the North Pole. The shades on the windows were pulled down by our seats, but we walked to the window at the back kitchen and looked out at snow, ice and clouds for as far as you could see. It was amazing!!

About 6:30 pm Knoxville time we crossed the Beaufort Sea and again went to the back window to take pictures. You could so clearly see the ice floating in the water. And again, amazing! Most of the team was crowded up to a window that is about 4 inches wide and 12 inches high. People seemed confused that we would be so excited about the view and take pictures and video, but how could you not be amazed by the diversity, originality, and just "bigness" of creation?

We had our snack on the plane--a boiled egg-cucumber-cream cheese sandwich. Sounds weird, but it was pretty good.

Side note: the Miami Heat dancers were on our flight.

About 8:15 pm Knoxville time we flew over the Siberian Sea into Russia. It is so incredible to look out and see a place you've only before seen on a globe. Later I got the most amazing pictures of mountains in Russia.

I was finally able to fall asleep at 10:15 pm Knoxville time. I slept less than an hour and woke up as we were flying into China.

Even though it feels like all you do on an international flight is eat, I realized when we were eating dinner at 11:45 pm Knoxville time (12:45 pm Seoul time) that with the time zones we completely missed a time for breakfast.

We landed at Incheon Airport at 2:45 pm here. (1:45 am Knoxville.) Pastor Won, his family and some men from the church me us there. They had a van waiting for our luggage and taxis waiting for us. We drove to the church and so many people were waiting for us. They stood in front of the church and greeted us almost like celebrities, shaking our hands and hugging us. One girl said, "I've seen your picture!" and hugged me. The church has a cafe upstairs and auditorium downstairs. We sat down at the cafe tables and immediately people were asking what they could get us. We went downstairs and Pastor Won had us introduce ourselves. We took turns walking from our seat to Pastor Won; he would hand us the microphone and have us introduce ourselves. Then a child would bring us flowers, gorgeous bouquets. They handed out schedules and then we met our host families. Samantha and I are staying with a sweet couple (who speak English!) and their two amazing little girls who are letting us sleep in their princess bunk beds and use their Little Mermaid bathroom-a bathroom just like ours, but with a fancier toilet. Isaac, our host "dad" even gave us key cards to the house to use this week. The "houses" are what we would call apartments. We are on the 22nd floor. We can walk to the church in about 2 minutes and Todd and Leeanne are on the 20th floor. After getting situated in our host homes, Pastor Won's family, Isaac and two other men from the church took us to eat at a traditional Korean restaurant--"the Tree"--take off your shoes and eat with chopsticks. If I had to eat with chopsticks everyday, I'd starve. Ms. Won asked the waitress to bring forks for us, but mainly I think she was worried I wouldn't get any food. Isaac told us to expect appetizer, main dish and dessert. Food was continually brought to our table, one dish after another, dishes taken as soon as they were empty to make room for the next. We thought we were almost done--we were full--and we heard it was time for main dished. We lost count. We had, I think, four soups. I ate two or three kinds of kimchee. I have now tasted sushi. I still haven't swallowed sushi.

After dinner we had a short meeting as a team and then went back to our host homes to get ready for bed. (At that point we had been up for about 25 hours and had eaten the biggest meal of our lives at what was 6:30 am to our bodies.) Samantha and I were getting our pajamas out when Isaac yelled "Erin! Samantha! What do you think?" And then he came to our room wearing University of Tennessee pajamas.

The girls are precious! Even though they mostly speak Hangul, they want to play with us and have been bringing us stickers. The youngest is maybe three years old. We played for a few minutes before bed and it was just neat how she didn't seem to notice I was different or spoke another language. Smile--and Disney princesses--are pretty much universal. Before bed the girls came in and told me in English "Good night. God bless you. We love you."

So, our first 28 hours or actually covered 2 days and was very eventful and interesting.

More later...

Trip Updates

2008-06-05T03:55:00.000-07:00

Thursday, June 5, 6:55 am Knoxville/7:55 pm Seoul

Leaving for the airport. South Korea, here we come!

South Korea 2008

2008-06-03T18:33:00.000-07:00

The purpose of our trip to South Korea is simply to help the people of Calvary Baptist in Seoul as they share the gospel with their city. We will be presenting the gospel in homes as well as working with students, kids & parents. Pastor Wan and the congregation of Calvary have done so much already for this week; we get to step in and be part of the harvest.

The Itinerary:

Thursday June 5
9:21 am Knoxville/10:21 pm Seoul
Fly from Knoxville to Atlanta (Delta 4666)

11:20 am Knoxville/12:20 am (Friday) Seoul
Fly from Atlanta to Seoul (Delta 91)

Friday June 6
3:10 pm Seoul/2:10 am Knoxville
Arrive in Seoul

meet the families; rest from flight

Saturday June 7
work with students

Sunday June 8
work with students
worship service at Calvary Baptist, Seoul
worship service at West Lonsdale Baptist, Knoxville

I'm not sure what time the service at Calvary will start, but as you pray for us keep in mind that an 11 o'clock service in Seoul takes place at 10 o'clock Saturday night Knoxville time. Todd will be preaching with an interpreter. Kellie, Leah, Samantha & me might be performing "Behold the Lamb," and our group may perform "Everything."

The service at West Lonsdale begins at 10:15 am Knoxville time, which will be 11:15 pm in Seoul. We will be 'attending' the service through webcams! Technology's kind of cool, huh?

Monday June 9-Wednesday June 11
We will be having Back Yard Bible Clubs. The plan, for now, is for Leah, Luke, Aaron, Samantha, Kellie & Robert to work with the kids through crafts and skits & stories with interpreters while Todd, Leeanne, Jeff, Anthony & me talk with parents through interpreters.

Thursday June 12
We get to be tourists. The only place I know for sure we will be seeing is the DMZ. The rest of the day is a surprise.

Friday June 13
6:05 pm Seoul/5:05 am Knoxville
Fly from Seoul to Atlanta (Delta 92)

7:00 pm Knoxville/8:00 am (Saturday) Seoul
Arrive in Atlanta

9:35 pm Knoxville/10:35 am (Saturday) Seoul
Fly from Atlanta to Knoxville (Delta 2048)

10:30 pm Knoxville
Arrive in Knoxville

Wow.

2008-06-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

In two days I will be on the other side of the world.

When I got to work this morning, one of my co-workers asked me if I was excited.

"Yes!!"

Then she asked if I was nervous.

"Yes!!"

I'm very excited about the mission trip part of this trip. I'm a little nervous about the staying-in-a-foreign-country-with-people-I-don't-know-who-speak-another-language part of this trip.

Two thoughts calm me: 1. They are probably just as nervous to have someone they don't know staying with them. 2. They are really just brothers and sisters in Christ that I haven't met yet.

Brandon Heath has a new song out that begins "comfortable, don't get comfortable" and later on says "you're gonna live like you used to dream." I had that song on my mind last night as I was cluttering my apartment with my "packing piles." I got in the car this morning and the first thing I heard..."comfortable, don't get comfortable." And then Jars of Clay's "Love in Any Language"...and then the morning guy commenting on the significance of that song for people on international missions trips...and then the Newboys' "He Reigns" ("...the song of Asian believers, filled with God's holy fire; it's every tribe, every tongue, every nation; a love song born of a grateful choir...") and then I just had to say "I get it. Thank You."

This trip has been so much harder to prepare for than any in the past. Most of the mission trips I've been on have been the bring-your-old-clothes-to-work-in type. This trip is more the need-to-look-nice-everyday-but-be-able-to-work-with-kids-and-always-be-prepared-to-leave-your-shoes-at-the-door type. And there are so many little details. Like finding out if your insurance is international. Needing a converter for electric outlets. Getting used to wearing a watch again (my time piece, the cell phone, would just be a paper weight in Korea.) And not knowing what the food will be like. (Just in case, my suitcase has a stash of power bars, granola bars, and dried fruit. Just in case.)

I hope to be able to update my blog while I'm there, but it's another unknown. I may be able to update everyday, or I may not be able to until I get home. Just keep checking.

The Sunsphere

2008-06-02T21:06:00.000-07:00

The other day I had (another) training day downtown. Usually when I work at a branch, I drive to a park and eat lunch there; when I'm in training I eat lunch with a friend. I was in this training with a friend, but she only had to come to the after-lunch sessions, so I was on my own. I decided eating in my car in the parking garage would be better than the break room in the "training basement." I was a little disappointed I couldn't go to a park and thought I'd only have a view of cars and concrete. Boy, was I wrong! I got into my car, opened my lunch box, looked up and there was the sunsphere. I've seen the sunsphere a hundred times (even once from the inside), but I had never seen it like this. The garage was bordered by a half wall of concrete topped with a decorative rod-iron gate. The design of the gate in front of my car included a circle that perfectly framed the sunsphere. That in itself was cool, but then I started really looking at the sunsphere. And it was amazing. Every panel was reflecting the view below. At different angles, each panel was showing a different place, like a sphere made of security cameras. Side by side were views of roads, grassy areas, of buildings and construction sites. I could have watched it all day--I felt like I could see the whole city just by looking up.
So I was thinking...
I was expecting the boring and got the amazing. Isn't that just like God, showing up in the least expected places? I've seen downtown Knoxville too many times to count, but I saw it from a brand new perspective by not focusing on the city itself, but on what was above the city. Sound familiar? Focusing on Jesus brings a new perspective on "things below" (education, career, relationships, finances...), and a reminder that 'you ain't seen nothin' yet!'

Colossians 3:2 "Set your mind on things above,

not on earthly things."

(I have a great picture of the moment on my phone. I have no idea how to get it from the phone to a computer, so on my phone it stays.)

Respect

2008-05-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

I'm over whiny adults. When I worked at a school, I ate lunch with a group of teachers who talked a lot about how students don't show any respect for authority. "Because the teacher said so" was no longer a good enough reason to behave, to study, etc. We wondered where this lack of respect for authority all started. And then one day politics became the topic of conversation and I knew exactly where it started. As I sat and listened to a group of grown women call the president of our amazing country school-yard names, I thought "Hello! Where is our respect for authority?"
Here are some things we seem to need reminders of:
1. One man alone is not solely responsible for every situation in a country. It takes advisors, committees and counsel. One administration cannot work independent of the past administration; they build on each other.
2. We are adults. Our speech should reflect that. When you don't agree with your boss at work, do you call him names? Do you start a conversation about him with anyone who will listen so you can have one more chance to make your opinion known? Can we not voice concerns without resorting to the names we called our brothers and sisters in elementary school?
3. We have freedoms. Other countries would not even allow the freedom to be as disrespectful as we are. How lucky we are to even have a president and not a dictator daring us to speak ill of him.
4. There is a bigger picture. Are you paying more for gas and groceries? Me too. Have you been attacked by terrorists in your homeland? Didn't think so.
5. We are the envy of many. We take our citizenship for granted; others would give up everything for an opportunity to call themselves United States citizens. Those on the outside looking in clearly see what we've forgotten--that we are living in a great country!
Everyday I'm more proud of this country and more grateful to be a part of it. If you feel you need to complain about America, just know that you'll find no audience with me.

What'd I just say??

2008-05-13T20:57:00.001-07:00

Ever have those moments when you say something totally applicable to the moment, only to later think "did I really just say that?" I had that experience twice tonight while babysitting.
#1. "Boys, I'm just not sure a lasso is an inside toy."
#2. "Why do you have to put them back on?? Because it's just not polite to take your underwear off at the dinner table. That's why."

LIfe-Changing Insight

2008-04-22T20:28:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the ever-anticipated messy club at YOKE. Here are some life-changing tidbits I learned while preparing for the balloon-pop relay and 'pie a YokeFolk'.

1. It is nearly impossible to tie a balloon filled with spray cheese.
2. Should you accidentally let go of the balloon before the tie is complete, spray cheese will spew out in no predictable way.
3. While it is possible to add chocolate syrup to a blown-up balloon, it is nearly impossible to do the same with shaving cream.
4. It is nearly impossible to blow up the shaving-cream-filled balloon without ingesting shaving cream.
5. Shaving cream will fizzle and dry out inside a balloon, making the ingestion of the shaving cream nearly pointless. :)
6. There will always be that one student who doesn't know that the best way to pie a YokeFolk is not to put the whipped cream in her hand and smack you in the eye.
7. There is a reason we always pie with shaving cream, not whipped cream. Whipped cream, outside, on your clothes, will sour almost immediately.
8. Once the sour whipped cream travels up your nose, you may never know if you are really clean, because you will always be smelling the sour.

Tonight was great, by the way. Fourteen students who had a blast and hopefully left with more than just messy clothes.

YOKE Camp

2008-04-06T20:41:00.001-07:00

So pretty much this weekend was incredible. We had such a great group of students. Nine middle school girls in 3 different grades with such different personalities, and yet no one was excluded. That in itself is an incredible thing. But there was something just incredible about this weekend. We have a girl who came to club for the first time 2 weeks ago and then came again this past week. She seemed interested in camp, but didn't think her mom would let her go since YOKE was still new to them and her mom didn't know us yet. I left her mom some messages, but never heard back. But Friday she was there with her mom ready to get on the bus for camp. Friday night our speaker, Leah, talked about how much God loves us. She did a great job and, though she was talking to the middle schoolers, there were some things I needed to hear too. Saturday was a great day of games and then Saturday night Leah spoke again. First, she explained to the kids what sin is and why it's a problem for us, why it separates us from God. Before she told the kids how Jesus took care of that for us, we took a break and while the kids played four square and jumped rope and all that, the leaders met together to pray for the kids and then broke into teams to pray for our students specifically. It's an incredible time. After Leah told the kids about the free gift Jesus has for us, we had Cabin Time. Cabin Time is what the semester leads up to--a time the students can ask us anything. God was all over our cabin time. No person could have scripted it as perfectly as it happened. The girls asked such honest questions. "If I don't go to church, can I still go to Heaven?" "What exactly do you have to do to go to Heaven?" And they did ask some questions that I had to tell them I really don't know the answer to. Things about the Old Testament ways of sacrifices and such. After the girls asked their questions my college gals shared their testimonies. And, again, it could never have been planned by any person. Such sweet testimonies to tell the girls that you don't have to have a past of drugs or alcohol or abuse to have a "good" testimony. To tell them that God has specific plans for each of them. And then the girls wanted a chance to share with us their stories. One shared how she got saved at camp... 3 times. And so we got to talk about how no one can take your salvation away. What Jesus did for us is forever. Salvation is not something you can lose. The next girl to share was the girl new to YOKE. And she said that her dad had saved her. I asked her if she meant that he prayed with her and she said that wasn't it; he had "put her in the water." So we got to talk about what baptism really is and that it doesn't save you, it's just a symbol of your new life. And, again, we got to talk about the One Way to Heaven and how simple it is, that it's a gift you just have to accept. Normally we end cabin time by telling the girls that they can pull us aside to talk anytime there's something on their mind. But this time we told them that if they felt good about everything they'd heard and had no more questions they could go back to the main room and play some more 4 square. But if they had any more questions they could just stay right where they were. Two girls stayed. One had the kind of question that lets you know she is listening to what you say and really processing it. She said that since we had talked about the only way to Heaven being asking Jesus to forgive you and be your Savior she just wanted to know what happens to babies who die. I told her that those little guys who are too little to even understand what sin is are in Heaven. We talked just a little bit about this thing called "age of accountability" and you could see it click for her. With a look of relief and "yeah, that makes sense" she was off to jump rope. And then there was just me and this special girl. She said she wanted me to "save her." I told her I couldn't, only Jesus can do that. But I told her if she really wanted to I'd pray with her. And she told me she wanted me just to pray it for her. And, again, I told her I couldn't. I wasn't sure she really understood all we had talked about so I started asking her questions about sin and Jesus, and she was getting it. I prayed and let her repeat it, but I was still wondering if she really understood. When we finished praying, I looked up and she was smiling and crying at the same time. And I knew she got it. And I just felt the moment wasn't over. So I just hugged her and held her and prayed some more. And somewhere in that prayer it hit me what had just happened. That I had been there at the very moment her new life began. That God had allowed someone who was just a sinner herself be a part of the moment. And then I thought about Peter. I love to read about the boldness of the early church. And I thought that I was doing something Peter had done: telling about Jesus and then seeing the response. Obviously, this wasn't on the same scale as Peter speaking to hundreds, but it wasn't insignificant. All those thoughts hit me at once, and I started crying. Later, we were walking back to meet up with our group and she looked at me and said "I made you cry, didn't I?" And she was just grinning. It was just an incredible time. I've had the opportunity to pray with students before at things like Hearts on Fire. But there, you know that when students come to you they are coming to make a decision and that they are responding to what the speaker has told them. This was different, because I had been the one to answer the question, not knowing if there would be any response. And when there was it was just incredible. Just such a God-thing. Later that night she thanked me for what I had done and all I could say was "I didn't do this. Jesus did this all." On the bus home she wanted to look at the Bible she had been given and had some questions about it. We talked about her being in church. She said her family has been visiting some places, so I invited her to come to West Lonsdale. She seemed excited about the Wednesday night youth service. I hope so much she is there. I also hope she feels welcomed. This weekend was a time of acceptance and friendship among our girls. I hope that is felt when she comes to church. Honestly, I'm not sure it will happen among the girls her age. That sounds bad, I know. I love my WL girls, but they may see this girl as being different. Not as popular, as well-dressed. Didn't grow up in church, may not know the right terms. I don't know if my WL girls read this or not, but if they do, I challenge them to look for a new face Wednesday. To think about what it might feel like to be the new kid. To think about what an IMPACT a short conversation or invitation to sit with someone might make. To realize they can be a part of a new believer growing in their faith by being an encourager and friend. I know they can do it.

Creepy Old Men

2008-04-02T21:02:00.000-07:00

A lot of my friends already know this, but just in case you don't, here's an interesting tidbit about me: I wear an "engagement ring" at work. I was getting some pretty interesting comments from customers as the new girl, so my mom suggested I wear the ring my grandmother gave me which has an interesting story itself. Anyway, the guys who think they are sneaky point to your name plate and ask if it's your married or maiden name. One time I asked a customer if there was anything else I could do for him and he answered with, "well, what time do you get off?" But the oddest was the man who told me that I was very efficient and then asked if my husband appreciated that quality. So I started wearing the ring. I never said anything about it, just started wearing it. And, magically, the comments stopped. But today I had an 87 year old man tell me he left his glasses at home. That's pretty innocent...unless you follow it with "I guess I'll go home and get them and come back so I can get a better look...at you." I, apparently, am hot stuff with the over 60 crowd. Now if I could just get that godly guy my age to be so bold. :) (Rylee is becoming concerned that I won't get married before she's too old to be a flower girl. Sunday she made sure that if she's grown up when I get married that she could still be in my wedding. I love that girl. Oh, the way her mind works!! ")

Monday...

2008-03-31T14:28:00.000-07:00

Should I tell you about my day? Here's the background...I have been working as a teller at the bank, but I was hired to be a customer service rep. CSRs open accounts, answer questions, and take care of customer issues--whatever they might be. Before I went to CSR training I observed a bit and began to think that it might not be for me. I actually had several people at work tell me that I wouldn't like it. One lady told me I'd be bored. As a teller, when it's slow, I can pull out a book to read or a sunday school lesson or yoke club to plan. When other tellers are complaining that it's slow, I'm always like "This is great! I'm getting so much done!" As a CSR, when it's slow, you either have a pile of paperwork or you just sit at the desk and wait for a customer. (That's not the only reason I don't like it. I also don't love not knowing what situation is about to walk through the door.) Three weeks ago I asked my supervisor if I could continue to work as a teller because I'm really not comfortable with (or happy in) the CSR position. And she told me to keep working as a CSR and get comfortable with it and we'd talk later. . . and then she's had me work as a teller. . .until today. So, of course, I didn't get used to it. In fact, I thought maybe she had decided to let me stay in the teller position. Since I'm a floater, she usually tells me on Friday afternoon what branch to work at the next week, but last Friday she was off, so they told me just to call Monday morning. So I called this morning at 7:40--I'm supposed to be at work at 8:15--and no one answered. (Usually someone is in early.) So I called every 5 minutes, until 8:20 when someone answered to tell me that I needed to wait until someone else came in. She said someone would call me back soon. So I finally called back at 8:50, and she called a branch to see if they could use me. (Nothing like not being needed. ") In that time I got so much done---dishes, folding laundry--and I thought "this is going to be a cool day, different." And then I finally got to work. . . and I was supposed to be a CSR (didn't see that coming did you? ") And my stomach just about jumped through my throat. And all I wanted to do was survive until lunch and then get away for a while. . .but my parents' car is messed up, so my dad has my car and had dropped me off at work. So no leaving until my dad came back at 4:15. And I just wanted to hide and cry. On the way there this morning (still thinking I was to work as a teller) I was thinking "Man, why was I so unsatisfied with this job? I could do this for a long time." And then I got there and heard "CSR" and thought "Yeah! This is why!" There was some confusion when I got there--was I a teller or a CSR? So I had to explain to the branch manager that yes, technically I'm a CSR, but I don't want to do it and I haven't been doing it. And her response was that I definitely, then, needed to work as a CSR so I wouldn't waste my training. And I'm thinking "But this is not what I was meant to do! I'm perfectly fine not 'advancing' in banking. It's not my passion!" Ah, but it's my job.
So I was thinking. . .
I asked my mom the other day how people stay in jobs they don't love. She said that when you come home and see those babies' faces, you know you aren't doing it for you but for them, and then it's okay. And I said, "Cool. . . so why am I doing it?" I do feel like God has used me in unexpected ways--in going through training with a student facing the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy or working for a week with a group of people who have a strong negative stereotype of 'church people.' And sometimes those things make me think I'd be cheating by being in a ministry position because I wouldn't be 'in the world' as much as I am now. I'm just over thinking it, I guess. It's a good thing the future is in His hands and not mine! (By the way, I wrote this during work today. Ever seen the Seinfield episode where George takes a job he knows nothing about? And he sits in the office and moves papers from one file to the other. . .all day? Yeah, that was pretty much me today. "If I open and close my notebook a lot while I'm writing, maybe it'll look like I'm really working on something." Oh, I get to go back to be a CSR tomorrow.

People actually read my blog!!

2008-03-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

I am, generally, a private person. I'm really good with short answers and not offering up more than I just have to. I know God is trying to get me out of that. I read a book recently on mentoring students. I can pretty much sum up the whole book with this statement: "Mentoring is letting students into your life." That means your life has to be a little more open. I'm trying. I'm doing some things I never would have dreamed of. Like interpretive movement. When I told a couple of my friends that I was going to do it, they laughed. "Let's see. You don't dance, and you don't like to be up in front of people. Yeah, this sounds like the group for you." But guess what. I'm loving it. And I'm trying to be more open with people. That was pretty much the point of having a blog. I like reading blogs, but to actually write one just seemed weird. "Write out my thoughts for anyone to read? You've got to be kidding me." But if I'm really going to be more open, this was a good place to start. So, I blog, although not very consistently. And it really wasn't as hard as I thought. . .
Probably because I thought no one was reading it. Then last night I logged onto 2 of my friends' blogs. And there in the "blogs I read" section was my name! And I freaked out just a bit. "People actually read my blog!! I'm out there. Opening up. Dear goodness, what I have done?!" I was much calmer about it this morning. . . and then I got to Sunday School and someone else mentioned reading my blog. And it began again. "People actually read what I say!!" Wow. Just know that this whole world of blogging is out of my comfort zone. But I think that's where I need to be.

Waiting and Watching

2008-03-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

My first week at Carson-Newman (hard to believe that was almost 8 years ago!) an upper classman gave me this advice about being in full-time ministry: 'if you can be happy doing anything else, do that other thing.' At first it sounded like odd advice, but it makes alot of sense now. I've spent a lot of time in jobs I didn't love and have ended up changing jobs alot. The thing that has been consistent in my life is student ministry. I always go into new jobs thinking I can be happy there as long as I have the time to stay as involved in student ministry as I have been. And that works for a while. Then I get to the point in my job where I should be moving up or taking on more responsibility and I realize, again, that it's not what I was made to do. And I get frustrated and start looking for something new. It usually takes 5 or 6 months for me to realize that I can't be happy where I am. I started at the bank on October 11. Do the math and you'll know what I'm feeling.
I know where I would be happy; where I would be living life to the fullest. It's a life where I stay home to take care of my family and stay involved in ministry.
So really I know exactly what I want to do when I grow up. It's just that I don't have a husband to support or kids to take care of and--as my mom would say--I'm working to support my involvement in ministry. So I know what I want to do; it's just not possible yet.
So I was thinking...
1. Wait. Wait is a four letter word. (Really, it is.) I'd like to have a family soon. 'Keep living life and wait.' I want to be debt-free now. 'Keep working and wait.' I'd like to go back to my old position at work. 'Keep working and wait.' You get the idea. I thought I was a patient person, but when the answer is always 'wait,' you've got to wonder what God is teaching you.
2. Think outside the box. I've really limited my ideas about where I should be working. I know I want to be in full-time ministry, but there aren't many opportunities that I know of. But it doesn't matter. God has plans for me and it doesn't matter if I don't know them just yet. I've just got to stop limiting myself and watch (and, yes, wait) for the doors to open at the right time. I know that, but I need to be reminded of that from time to time. Thanks, friend, for the reminder.
-E

It's Snowing!!

2008-02-26T19:29:00.000-08:00

As part of my job, I'm in training downtown. The company provides a parking pass to students--for a garage a few blocks away from class. It's suggested that we be parked by 8 to have time to catch the free trolley and be in class by 8:30. If you know me, you know that sounds like being 30 minutes early and that's just not something I do. (Except for when I was little and rode with my grandmother. Back then, 30 minutes early was on time.) So I usually plan to make it to the garage by 8:15 and walk. Walking, believe it or not, is faster than riding the trolley. The Wednesday before Valentine's Day was a cold morning. My 8:15 plan turned into the 8:25 plan, so I was late before I ever started the walk. But it didn't bother me much--I wasn't going to let it ruin my walk. I look forward to the walk--it's so quiet in the morning. There are people out & about, but it's still so quiet. And there are so many things about downtown you miss if you're always just driving by. So I was enjoying my walk and thinking that the only thing that would make it better would be snow.
You know how Jesus was always answering questions that weren't asked out loud? He answered my thoughts. I saw a snowflake and thought I was crazy. But then I saw another and another. By the time I got to class I was passing people under umbrellas. (I don't understand umbrellas in the snow.) But umbrellas & all, it was just a "movie-magic" kind of walk. When I got to class I felt like the other girls were feeling bad for me, being the late kid. But I wouldn't have missed it. I may have been the late kid, but I was the kid who had a perfect walk in the snow that fell just for her.
So I was thinking...

"The heavens declare the glory of God,

the skies proclaim the work of His hands,

Day after day they pour forth speech,

night after night they display knowled.

There is no speech or language

where their voice is not heard.

Their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world."

Psalm 19:1-4

God is so good in the little things. And I absolutely don't deserve it. Because of a fluke power outage this afternoon I got to spend time with some special people I don't get to see enough. And when I got home. . . it was snowing.

-E

Moving Days

2008-02-24T05:15:00.000-08:00

"Friends"

And friends are friends forever

if the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say never

'cause the welcome will not end

though it's hard to let you go

in the Father's hands we know

that a lifetime's not too long

to live as friends.

--Michael W. & Deborah Smith

Two of my friends have known for a while that they would be moving. One is moving to South Carolina and one to Manitoba. Both were planning to move 'whenever things worked out.'

Things worked out. At the same time. One made the move to SC two Saturdays ago and the other is heading north later today. Their moves have given me a lot to think about.

So I Was Thinking...

I know Canada is further, but Carolina really bothered me. My soon-to-be-Canadian friend and I share a pretty special friendship, that only even came about because of Christ and His plan. When I felt like I was losing friends (more moving...) I really was gaining a family of new friends; all a part of God's plan I just couldn't see yet. As far away as Manitoba is, I know Leah and her family will always be a part of my life. Our relationship with Christ makes me confident of that. We will always have the most important thing in common, no matter what country we're in. That's why SC bothers me. What me and SC have in common is temporary; she is not a Christian. Those things we did have in common-job, location, etc-are now gone. I've been here before too; friendships not made complete in Christ fizzle out, even with the best intentions.

That Saturday morning was hard for me, because I didn't get to see her before she left. I missed two opportunities to see her that week. I was too busy. Here's the thing--I was busy with good stuff, church stuff, ministry stuff. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't mean for me to be so busy inside the church that I didn't have time to be in the world. Yes, we need to be serving His church, but He needs us in the world too. What if I missed an opportunity to share more about my Jesus? I'm so fortunate--I'm going to have another chance to see her in Knoxville, but one day a visit will be the last visit. I want to be able to look back and know I made time for her. I've prayed for her to have a friend in her new community that will be able to share Christ with her. But that prayer hit me--what if someone else was praying for her to have that friend in Knoxville and i missed it? I don't feel like I missed opportunities when I was with her. No, I never went through an official gospel presentation. But I tried to open with my life. I just wonder if I could have done more.

-E